Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Who are you telling that you used a donor?
MrsKoch
Member Member
We'll obviously tell our child when the appropriate time happens ( when would that be?), but who are you sharing your decision with? My sister knows, my inlaws obviously, and a few of our close friends. Not sure if I'm going to tell my mom, extended family....etc. They know he can't have a child naturally because of his vasectomy from his previous marriage. DH doesn't care who knows, I'm not sure who I'd be comfortable knowing. What did/will you choose to do?
Comments
I am struggling with the same dilemma. I know this is something I want to do. But I'm not sure who I want to know about it. I have older children, and they most certainly will know. But my mother is my biggest concern. In the past when I've talked about adoption, her response has always been something along the lines of, "you never know what genetics you might get....you could wind up with a child with severe issues (mental, physical, behavioral...you name it) because you don't know anything about parents". I'm using donor egg as well, so in all reality it is going to be like an adoption in that the child will have no genetic link to me at all. I don't want to go through the childhood years hearing "I wonder if that came from the donor's family?" if you know what I mean.
So yeah, I haven't decided if my mom will know or not:)
Good luck to you on your decision!
Not to worried about what others think as much as telling the child itself
We have decided to tell the child from the beginning choosing age appropriate language because it is not some big dark secret that anyone should be ashamed of. We are bringing a child in this life who will be very loved and it shouldnt be anything but a positive experience. Our children will always know that they were very wanted and our life wouldnt be complete without them. Becoming a mother is something i have always dreamed about. Likewise, my husband really wants to be a dad. He tells me that now we should focus on becoming pregnant ( finding a donor, doing IUI, etc) and not worry about his family or anyone else's opinion for that matter. His parents are actually very nice people, but they only recently found out about my husband's male infertiltiy factor and I am sure they are still processing that fact. We will obviously tell them eventually, because like i mentioned, it is not a secret. As of those couples who choose not to tell their children or anyone else, I am sure they thought about it and made a right decision for themselves. If you asked me about this two years ago, I would probably want to keep this a secret too. But now I have a new perspective and don't really care anymore who knows and who doesnt.