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Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.

To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!

Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com

Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth

*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*


If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com

New to this

lkendrick079lkendrick079 Junior Member Junior Member
My husband and I have been told that we need use a sperm donor to have a child together. It's not because of him. It has to do with a rare RH factor. I have two children from previous marriage. This would be his first. He is upset over not having his own blood child. Anyone on here been in same situation? I know he is hurt, we looked into egg donor but that is way to expensive. What if we go with sperm donor? Do you tell family? Do you tell your child too? Any advice ?

Comments

  • StephieKofStephieKof Junior Member Junior Member
    We have gone the donor route because my husband was diagnosed with azoospermia. He had a TESE done, and they found nothing. It was crushing news, and we grieved for a bit. We have told our family and closest friends. We trusted they wouldn't judge us. Thankfully, they support us 100%. Only tell those people you feel comfortable telling; those that would support you. No need for the added stress/sadness from people with negative opinions. Especially when going through the process.

    Part of our process included a session with a therapist.
    We asked her how/when we should go about telling our child. She recommended telling him/her as soon as possible, obviously not in detail when they are super young, but to pretty much avoid them feeling like they have been lied to all their lives, for instance, if we wait until they are much older. We ultimately chose an open donor. Assisted reproductive therapy is becoming a more common thing and the topic won't be as taboo in coming years. I've always found it fascinating and have wanted to work in the fertility lab, but never thought I would be going through the processes myself.

    Good luck!!
  • CRippli1CRippli1 Member Member
    Stephs advice is perfect. Tell who you are comfortable telling. In my opinion, plan on always being totally open with your kid. I would definitely recommend a therapist before you do anything. Also, just be sure your husband is completely on board before you do anything. You don't want to bring a child into the world, especially this way unless its what you both want.
  • amandar63amandar63 Junior Member Junior Member
    My husband was also diagnosed with azoospermia due to a chromosomal deletion or error. We were crushed at first too, but ultimately decided we wanted a family. We also spoke with a therapist. A great book to read to help you is Helping the Stork. We have a beautiful 23 month old boy and I'm pregnant with a little girl both by the same donor. My husband couldn't love our son more if he was biologically his. We've told close family and friends too. Our friends and family knew our struggle to get pregnant, and were/are very supportive of our decision. So sorry you are going through this, and hope you guys can figure out something you are both comfortable with.
  • Heather16Heather16 Junior Member Junior Member
    My husband and I are going through the same thing as amandar63. When we found out the news of my husbands deleted chromosome, I didn't even know that was possible. We want a family so bad and he has been open to donor sperm. We are in the early stages of research and I wish you the best as you go through this too. I look forward to reading everyone's outcomes, and I'm so glad to hear success stories and read about happy families from these procedures. Gives me hope of being a mom!
  • MyahsmomMyahsmom Junior Member Junior Member
    My husband has two daughters with his x wife and we to were told we have to use doner and I thank god every day! We have a beautiful one yr old who my husband loves dearly and we are so blessed God led us this path!
  • Luv2resqLuv2resq Junior Member Junior Member
    @ amandar63 congrats! I hope your family is doing well and everybody is healthy. I was wondering which donor did y'all use?
  • Luv2resqLuv2resq Junior Member Junior Member
    @myahsmom Congrats on your beautiful baby girl. We used the same donor as you and have two beautiful boys. We have a closed facebook group for families with children from our donor if you are interested in getting to know any of us or learning anything out please contact me back at luvbnamedic17@aol.com. Thanks! Christina
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