Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Just starting my journey, wish me luck!
libergirl
Junior Member Junior Member
Hi,
I'm a single black woman (African), 34 (will be 35 in June) and I have decided to try IUI to get pregnant, using donor sperm. I will begin IUI with this cycle which started this past weekend. I have my HSG scheduled for Friday and 1st IUI should happen next week.
I decided to share my story on this forum because I've only told a couple of family members friends and I don't know anyone else going through this process. I recently joined this forum and have found the posts to be very supportive and encouraging.
I have no idea what to expect. It's hard to tell if the odds are in my favor given my age. I have never been pregnant before, I've always used contraception, so I'm not sure what my fertility status is. All of my tests results look good (good AMH), but the statistics scare me. I know this is a long road, I've read posts where some women in their 40s conceived on the first try (unmedicated!) and younger women conceived after many months of both IUI and/or IVF. For that reason, I'm giving myself 6-8 months before getting worried.
It was a very tough decision to make, but after having made it, I feel very at peace. My biological clock started ticking about 2 years ago and I never imagined myself to be a SMBC. After my last relationship which took a huge emotional toll, I didn't want to get into another relationship. But, I decided to make having a child my priority. It took me six months to even say it out loud. I discussed the idea with a couple of family members and friends and most of them were supportive (and still are). However, one friend thought I was too young to be considering such a drastic measure. My best friend on the other hand, who saw a co-worker in her early 40s struggle through the process (and ended up adopting because treatment was unsuccessful) thought it was smart that I was starting earlier rather than later. I called my insurance company and to my delight, it covers 100% (unlimited) of the medical portion of the IUI procedure. I saw it as a sign and I contacted a fertility specialist. I'm excited to be starting this process, but still petrified of doing it alone. I don't have any family members who live close by, so childcare will be a challenge, especially in emergency situations. But at the same time, I feel so lucky and blessed that finances are not an obstacle. I only have to pay out of pocket for the sperm.
Which brings me to another tough the decision: the sperm donor. As I stated earlier, I'm African, born and raised, I always imagined that my child would have another African parent. Also, once I made my decision, I really wanted an ID option donor, so that my child(ren) could one day be able to contact their father (if they wish). But those preferences (as well as the characteristics I wanted) didn't leave me with many options. I agonized over that decision for a month, and reading posts about choosing an donor and going with an ID option made me feel worse. Someone mentioned that they were afraid that their child would never forgive them, so they went with the ID option. In the end, I went with my gut and picked donors I really liked (selfish maybe). I narrowed it down to a couple of donors - both anonymous. I finally decided on 4630 who is half Kenyan/Tanzanian, so half-African! Unfortunately, he only has a couple of childhood photos available, no adult photos. I really would have preferred an ID option donor, however with the audio interviews, childhood pictures and medical history, I feel like I'll have something to show my child(ren) should they ask. I'm also hoping to sign up with the Donor Sibling Registry - in case the donor changes his mind.
So that's where I am. Sorry for such a long story. Writing this was somewhat therapeutic. Thank you all for your support and for sharing your stories. I'll make sure to keep you posted on my progress.
Wish me luck!
I'm a single black woman (African), 34 (will be 35 in June) and I have decided to try IUI to get pregnant, using donor sperm. I will begin IUI with this cycle which started this past weekend. I have my HSG scheduled for Friday and 1st IUI should happen next week.
I decided to share my story on this forum because I've only told a couple of family members friends and I don't know anyone else going through this process. I recently joined this forum and have found the posts to be very supportive and encouraging.
I have no idea what to expect. It's hard to tell if the odds are in my favor given my age. I have never been pregnant before, I've always used contraception, so I'm not sure what my fertility status is. All of my tests results look good (good AMH), but the statistics scare me. I know this is a long road, I've read posts where some women in their 40s conceived on the first try (unmedicated!) and younger women conceived after many months of both IUI and/or IVF. For that reason, I'm giving myself 6-8 months before getting worried.
It was a very tough decision to make, but after having made it, I feel very at peace. My biological clock started ticking about 2 years ago and I never imagined myself to be a SMBC. After my last relationship which took a huge emotional toll, I didn't want to get into another relationship. But, I decided to make having a child my priority. It took me six months to even say it out loud. I discussed the idea with a couple of family members and friends and most of them were supportive (and still are). However, one friend thought I was too young to be considering such a drastic measure. My best friend on the other hand, who saw a co-worker in her early 40s struggle through the process (and ended up adopting because treatment was unsuccessful) thought it was smart that I was starting earlier rather than later. I called my insurance company and to my delight, it covers 100% (unlimited) of the medical portion of the IUI procedure. I saw it as a sign and I contacted a fertility specialist. I'm excited to be starting this process, but still petrified of doing it alone. I don't have any family members who live close by, so childcare will be a challenge, especially in emergency situations. But at the same time, I feel so lucky and blessed that finances are not an obstacle. I only have to pay out of pocket for the sperm.
Which brings me to another tough the decision: the sperm donor. As I stated earlier, I'm African, born and raised, I always imagined that my child would have another African parent. Also, once I made my decision, I really wanted an ID option donor, so that my child(ren) could one day be able to contact their father (if they wish). But those preferences (as well as the characteristics I wanted) didn't leave me with many options. I agonized over that decision for a month, and reading posts about choosing an donor and going with an ID option made me feel worse. Someone mentioned that they were afraid that their child would never forgive them, so they went with the ID option. In the end, I went with my gut and picked donors I really liked (selfish maybe). I narrowed it down to a couple of donors - both anonymous. I finally decided on 4630 who is half Kenyan/Tanzanian, so half-African! Unfortunately, he only has a couple of childhood photos available, no adult photos. I really would have preferred an ID option donor, however with the audio interviews, childhood pictures and medical history, I feel like I'll have something to show my child(ren) should they ask. I'm also hoping to sign up with the Donor Sibling Registry - in case the donor changes his mind.
So that's where I am. Sorry for such a long story. Writing this was somewhat therapeutic. Thank you all for your support and for sharing your stories. I'll make sure to keep you posted on my progress.
Wish me luck!
Comments
I don't think any of us walked into single motherhood as a first choice. I know I always expected to have a husband. Didnt work out that way. Frankly if I had to choose the husband or the child, I choose child. Better to bring a child into a loving & stable single parent home than marry the wrong guy for the wrong reasons. Your fertility has a time limit, your love life does not. When the right guy comes along he will love & support your choices. Best of luck & congratulations on your journey! You're gonna love it!
I'm now in the TWW, but they told me to go back this Friday for blood work, and next Friday. I'm not sure why they have me testing so early. I've decided not to take any HPTs, I've done them in the past and they are so nerve wracking. I'll let AF be my indicator.
I'll put the exciting news up front, I got a BFP!!!!
After two unsuccessful IUIs, I decided to move on to IVF. I know that's very early to make the switch, but my insurance covers 100% of my fertility treatment, including IVF. Only problem was that I hated my job (to the point of severe depression, which couldn't be good for trying to conceive) and I wanted to leave. It was better to take advantage of the insurance before I left.
I got my last IUI BFN on May 23 and waited almost a month before switching to IVF. I started on Lupron on June 14, day 21 of my cycle, which delayed AF for 5 days. I started my cycle on June 25 - but cramps were so horrible, I could barely walk so I wasn't able to make it into my doctor's office. I started Menopur (75 units) and Gonal F (150 units) on June 26. Given my age (35) and based on other posts I've read, I was really hoping 15-18 eggs.
The doctor retrieved only 11 eggs on July 7. I was a little disappointed because I was hoping to freeze about 6 or 7 (I didn't want to go through this portion of the process again). However, my doctor seemed very pleased with the result. The next day (day 1), I got a call that 8 out of the 11 had fertilized. The next day I got another call regarding the state of the embryos, by day 2, at least two were already at 6-cell, and the others were closely behind. They told me that based on that result, we were looking at a day 5 transfer. By day three, three were at 8-cell, another three were at 6/7-cell and the other two were at 5 cell. On day four, they didn't give me and update, they just called me to tell me when to show up the next day for the transfer.
When I arrived, the doctor explained to me that there were two really good embryos ready for transfer. The other 6 were still developing and hadn't quite made it to blast stage yet. They were going to give it another day. So the question was, whether to implant two (giving myself a 60-70% chance of success) or whether to implant only one, giving myself a 40-50% chance. Implanting two had a 20% chance of resulting in twins. This was a very very tough decision for me. By this time, I just wanted to get pregnant so badly, but having twins would really be so difficult (I did leave my job and I'm starting my own solo law practice), the idea of twins was daunting, to say the least. So I asked my doctor how good the embryos were. He said they looked "very very good", but didn't give me any grade levels. I asked him if he could pick any embryo in the world to implant, like the most perfect embryo ever, given his over 30 years of experience, and he would rate that embryo a 10, how would we rate mine compared to that embryo? He said one of the two he would rate a 9/10 and other a 7/10. I then asked him if I could phone a friend (those were my exact words). I called my friend, who was in California, so this was 6am in the morning for her. I told her that I was going to go with one because the doctor said it was a 9/10. I just needed confirmation. :-)
So I went with just one. That was Saturday, July 12. I was supposed to go back on Tuesday, July 22 for a beta test. However, I was traveling for work and vacation and wasn't returning home until Friday July 25. So the nurse told me to take an HPT (I hate HPTs!) on Friday morning, July 25 and come in the following Monday (today) for the beta. I asked her if I could just wait for the beta, she said no, take the HPT. LOL
I had a 6am flight from California on Friday morning. I didn't want to take a HPT and then hop on a plane and not be able to talk to anyone for 5-6 hours. So after arriving home, around 6:30 p.m. or so, I took the HPT and it was positive!! One line was really dark the other was faint. I took another one Saturday morning and same thing. This morning I went in for the beta test around 9:00 a.m. Of course I got home and started reading blog posts about false positive HPTs and got really nervous. So I took another one! And it was positive again. Anybody seen third season of Homeland? Carrie's drawers? lol Then they called me around 1:30 and told me I had an HCG level of 1759!!! First the nurse asked me how I was feeling, which I saw as a good sign. She said it was a strong positive. I go back in on wednesday to make sure it's still going up.
Oh! and the other embryos. So of course they froze the other one that was a 7/10. Then the day after the transfer, they called me to tell me that 3 out of the other six had made it to the blast stage. So in all, I have four frozen embryos in waiting.
So there you have it...another journey begins! Thanks for all of your support. I hope you don't mind the detail. I found details very helpful when reading other people's posts.
There is a ton to think about. I'd be happy to share my experience if you'd like to chat. I've taken my time researching and planning over the last 6 months. I chose IVF partly for the time savings. Doctor scares me everytime he gives statistics on number of eggs available after 40.
I'll start my first cycle late June.