Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
New to all of this looking for guidance and advice
sanders15618
Junior Member Junior Member
My husband and I have been married for 7 years. It is my 1st marriage and his 2nd. He got married the 1st time at a young age and it didn't work out, he has 3 children from his first marriage. He had a vasectomy almost 14 years ago, we have talked to several fertility Doctors and a reversal would be possible but it isn't guaranteed due to the amount of time that has passed. That is a lot of money that we don't have, especially while raising 3 teenagers and both working in public service (my husband is a detective and I am a paramedic). We both want a child and have decided to try a sperm donor. I'm wondering how to choose a donor, how do you deal with the fact that the child is not both biologically yours, how to tell family and friends. I guess just a general question about the entire process. We have contacted another fertility clinic in town to make a appointment. Any help, suggestions or support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance
Comments
For us telling family and friends has just been a straight forward process. Basically just, "Hey, here's how we have decided to go forward." I have yet to come across anyone who isn't completely supportive of our choice. We have had some people who are surprised by it and ask questions, but we don't mind answering questions. We still haven't told all our friends. We kind of just talk about it as it comes up (if it comes up). We have also told everyone along the way that we aren't keeping it a secret and if they find themselves in a situation where they want to share our story, they are more than welcome to. We have been very open about it all, I suppose.
For us the process was considerably straight forward. When I went through the IUI I was only 26, and didn't have any fertility issues myself. So I had an initial consultation with my doctor, she explained to me their system (I imagine its different, though similar, anywhere you go) and the next month when I got a positive ovulation test I went in. They had me go in on the day of the positive opk and the day after my positive opk. I was a completely natural cycle with no monitoring or anything. And we were successful. I think we were very lucky that it worked for us on our first (natural) try. You would have to get feedback from others in regards to how it works when on fertility medication.
As far as choosing a donor, we initially started off uploading my husbands picture to find donors who looked most like him. But quickly found as we were researching those donors that they didn't have very good medical histories. It quickly became more important to us to find as solid of a medical history as we could over finding a donor that would look like my husband (plus, it isn't like we're trying to fool people into thinking the child is biologically related to my husband, so that really didn't matter to us). We ended up picking a donor who really doesn't have much in common at all with my husband but had the best medical of anyone else we had come across.
When I was pregnant I sometimes felt like I was pregnant and it was my baby but not my husbands and he was just along for the ride. But I have been very pleased to learn how natural it all feels now that our son is here. I really think you will be happy with this decision. It can be overwhelming initially and it can definitely feel scary, but when it all boils down, it will be your husbands name on the birth certificate. He will be the one there for the first smile, laugh, steps, day in school, graduation, etc. He will be the child's dad.
Good luck! Hope this helps your process
Thank you.