How do you feel about many donor half-siblings out there?

smiles2016

This is the question that stumps me when picking a donor. I feel like I have narrowed my choices but then to hear that the pregnancy range is currently 10-15 pregnancies, I get a little overwhelmed by the possibility of 50ish half-siblings (based on the 25 family limit, Im guessing some have one some have three so an avg of 2...IDK?!) out there. Thoughts?

leleca

I am also picking a donor. I see no problem at all with multiple half siblings. What are your exact concerns?

mizzy409

I also don't see a problem with multiple half siblings. I question how frequently they ever really have to retire a donor because the number has gotten that high. But even if it did I plan on being open with my child about all this and help them understand that when they start dating although the risk is remote, they need to be aware of it. But mostly I like the idea of half siblings and being in contact with them. I feel this will give my child a branch of family that is more theirs rather than only having my family.

CRippli1

I'm not sure i completely grasp what it is you're asking, but I know I had some struggles in the beginning with the idea of my child having numerous genetic half siblings out in the world. The donor we used is now retired which (as I understand it) means that there have been 25 reported pregnancies from the donor. Still any of those 25 families can continue using the donor for more children as long as he has vials remaining. Plus there is the consideration of the babies that are not reported as well as the consideration that the donor will likely someday have children of his own. It can be a bit overwhelming to think about AND I definitely have seen a kid who looked like my son and thought, "half-sibling?" (Although it is of course unlikely).

I'm not sure what calmed me and ultimately made me decide it doesn't matter, but something did. And I do keep in touch with one other family who used the same donor and it is an awesome thing. I would love someday for our boys to grow up and meet. I definitely recommend it.

Anne72

My daughter is now almost 3 and one of the number one questions I get when people find out she is a donor child is "Aren't you worried she is going to marry her brother?" I just have to laugh. Let's assume there are 100 half-siblings out there (an overestimate I am sure) and all 100 are of the sex that she is attracted to. That means that there are 100 people out of the almost 400 million in the US alone and the 7 billion on the planet that are her half siblings. So not worried about those odds. And like the poster above said, she knows she is donor-conceived so can ask any potential mates if she thinks it is a possibility.

That said, I like having the half-sibs out there. God forbid there are medical needs or questions - there are that many more people that share her DNA that might be able to help. I'm registered on the sibling registry. I hear about 1x a year from a sibling or two and that works for me. Helps me be able to answer questions that she may have as she grows. Will we ever meet any of them? I don't know, but I like having options, especially since my donor was not an ID option donor

lovethislife13

when you saying "sibling registry" do you mean the "family forum" on this website or is there another sibling registry you are referring to? I have a baby from donor 4621 and was shocked no one else is on the family forum. Actually hoping to hear from other people out there that have children from this donor.

Neb121

I feel this way too. I am new to all this.

Anne72

lovethislife13 wrote: »

when you saying "sibling registry" do you mean the "family forum" on this website or is there another sibling registry you are referring to? I have a baby from donor 4621 and was shocked no one else is on the family forum. Actually hoping to hear from other people out there that have children from this donor.

I mean the family forum. When your child is 18 there is a donor sibling registry nationally that s/he will be able to join.

tllkks

There actually is a Donor Sibling Registry out there and you can join at any time. You have to pay either a yearly membership fee or join forever. I think the forever cost is $175 and in my opinion, it's totally worth it. I've met a number of donor sibling families on that registry and also a small number on here as well. People often "lurk" on the DSR site, so they join but they don't post anything for their donor, so if you join and look and don't see anyone, don't be alarmed. I'd recommend posting and waiting, knowing people will eventually reach out. You don't need to wait until your kid is 18 to join that site (like the person said above - that's not true.) When your child turns 18, if you used an ID Options donor through Fairfax and you registered their birth, then they can get the donor's full name, last known contact, etc. from Fairfax. Best of luck!

mackadoo2005

I've found ten 1/2 siblings. I like the thought that maybe my child will be friends in the future with some of them. Those will be the only siblings my child has. I want a larger family unit for my child vs. what I'm able to provide.