Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Open ID or Closed ID?
lizzieloo3
Member Member
I have narrowed my choices down to 4 donors. The only thing that I am unsure on is open or closed ID. Personally I don't care which I take but I wonder or worry that my child will. I've read that some countries only allow open ID and that makes me think that some children/adults have expressed that meeting their BioDad was important enough that they worked to change a law.
My first choice I have consistently been drawn to for months, He just seems right for me... But he is closed ID. My 2nd and 3rd are open but they aren't "as" right. Still would be fabulous though, as he would give me a baby...
What are your thoughts on open and closed ID?
My first choice I have consistently been drawn to for months, He just seems right for me... But he is closed ID. My 2nd and 3rd are open but they aren't "as" right. Still would be fabulous though, as he would give me a baby...
What are your thoughts on open and closed ID?
Comments
I went through the same battle with myself - After much research and talking to other women who used donor sperm, I was told that if your child TRULY wants to know who their bio father is, they can indeed find out - with the internet these days and registries, no one is truly anonymous. I had two donors - my first choice was closed ID, my second was open. I felt a much stronger feeling for my first donor - so I went with that. Watch the MTV documentary "Cryobabies." Its about a bunch of teenagers who seek out their donor father, and they find him after searching. Is it ideal ? Probably not if your child wants to seek this out. But, it can be done. I'd say go with your gut and who you feel is the "one" for you....
I've read other women on here (in older threads) say in retrospect, they'd wish they went with ID OPTION. You should do a search on here and read some of the older blogs. It seems that women on here seem to have the same questions. So, I would expect to find this same question out there.
Good luck with your decision and future procedure.
Sheannca, you bring up some really valid points. Of course, I dont know really know what the future holds - if I even end up pregnant one day - and if I do, will my child want to know? I just didnt want the donor ID to be my deciding point, when I felt so strongly about my top donor..... My second choice was fine so it was a really hard decision.... That being said, I might end up giving the second donor a try if I continue to have fails with the first donor.
It seems the selection decision is often narrowed down to a couple choices. Either way, I think in the end, I think gut instinct plays a big role in it. Perfectly normal. Again, you go with what is right for you (and for those doing it with a partner). That's what matters in the end.
Agreed sheanca - CMV was the first and most important for me... then height (because I am so short!). I also looked at education level, family history, and a few other things... Definitely wasnt a decision I took lightly but for my top five donors...only one was Open ID - my second choice - all others were closed ID.... I was a bit bummed.... Two of my friends used sperm donors (single moms) and one used fairfax, a closed donor - the other used a closed donor from California Cryo - If you can find an open donor, more power to you - They arent as common - One thing is for sure - you will have a beautiful, loved child from whatever donor you choose!
How is it going with your cycle?
Just got a negative on round 2 and about to start my final IUI round. In retrospect, I probably should have gone the IVF right off the back like my doctor had suggested because of my age. But who know's what really works. IUI has worked well for many women my age. Maybe #3 will be the charm, but if it isn't, I'll take a break from trying, mainly to save up for IVF.
How's it going for you?
Sorry to hear about your negative
I hope third times the charm for you! Are you switching or changing any protocol for your third? We changed my medicine for the third round now.
I have to same, that is some amazing insurance you have. I willing to wager, most insurances these days don't cover these type of procedures. Unfortunately, my procedures are out-of-pocket for me. I will say, much of my initial baseline testing was covered once I hit my deductible, which, I'm grateful for. I'm so happy your insurance does this for you. On the negative side, crap, thats a lot of wasted procedures to get through for you to be able to do the IVF, and the emotional stress. Ugh! Hang in there. Good luck to you as well.
Nothing is changing for me. My doctor very much believes in the medicine that she is prescribing. So no straying from it unfortunately. The only thing that may happen is that I might not be able to do this next round because my HCG slightly rose with the trigger shot. Right before this round begins I will need to take another blood test. I mean, not the end of the world, but all the delays are mind numbing.
I do have decent insurance - It is covered with a five dollar copay for each office visit. Of course, I have to pay the sperm OOP which adds about 2K each cycle - because the two vials plus the shipping. I am sorry to hear yours are all OOP - Your insurance does not cover it? I am surprised. I thought most insurances covered fertility treatments. I am fortunate that I started this process this year, because last year for single women, nothing was covered so I would have been fully OOP. Yes, it is frustrating to have to do six IUIs
What meds does your doc have you on? I am on Clomid.... One cycle to skip isnt too bad but it does take its toll on you - this whole process has been very draining....from choosing a donor, to it taking three months to even get started because of all of the initial testing and paperwork, to now two failed IUIs.... Heres to brighter days for both of us.... and a happy ending.
2 more weeks and I will be ordering vials!!!!
If you ask me, it is best to decide on a donor that you feel you have a connection with because along the way, you will be able to explain to your kid how you had him/her. That's a long time between birth and 18th birthday. In the interim, you can show pictures or let him/her hear the audio of your chosen donor to let him/her know that yes, he/she has a biological dad but he's is just not going to be present in your lives.
Good luck to you!
I sent you a private message.
Marcie