Worried about this process

valentinjes11

Kimber19lyn

I am in a similar situation. I am 37 going on 38. Not sure if it is bad luck with men or just my picky nature. I have thought about this off and on since I was about 34. I never wanted to have children after 35, but it feels like I was just 30 thinking I have time and then I woke up 37. I don't know that there is truly an answer for your question about whether it is recommended to have a baby on your own because I believe this is so individual. I have limited family resources as well and agree that if you want something bad enough you can make it work. I also thought in the beginning what if I move forward and then meet someone. My thought now is that if I do then they are on board or they aren't and if they aren't that makes the decision to not date them easy. I have given up things in my life that I want for the perfect relationship and now at 37 I refuse to do that anymore. I am about to have my first iui next month. Very excited. Slightly nervous. Wishing you the best with your decisions!

lizzieloo3

mizzy409

It is a very personal choice and there will be plenty who say not to. I did a lot of reading before I moved forward. Try Single Mother’s by Choice. The book is great and there is a very active forum. I’m going to be 44 this year and have a beautiful 1 year old. This has been the most amazing experience. It was the right choice for me.

waited40

I am so glad to hear others feel the same way. I am nervous too but am confident in my decision. Mizzy409 I am so happy to hear at 44 you are loving it. Did yo do IUI or ivf? I am doing IUI as per Insurance but I know I’ll end up at ivf.

Kimber19lyn

Waited40, I wish you luck! I am planning to have my first iui later this month. I really don’t know what to expect as far as outcomes. I am really excited and a little nervous. Definitely the right decision though. Do you have a good support system? I feel like although my mom is supportive, I am lacking in the support area. Not because people don’t support my decision, I just don’t have a lot of people I would consider in that group. Lizzieloo3, congrats!

waited40

mizzy409

Kimber19lyn

It is a heart wrenching rollercoaster even before you start so I can’t imagine how I will feel later! The excitement outweighs that at the moment and I am staying positive despite the worries that creep in once and awhile. I am totally okay with my decision, grateful actually and my mom is supportive, but she has never been that parent that asks when she will have grandkids. Maybe because I have been independent and single a lot, but even when I was engaged she didn’t really ask about it. I think you are right and once a baby is here she will be there. Some of it may stem from her own struggle with a miscarriage before me. I have read that iui is more successful between the 4-6 time or 3-5. I can’t remember. So many things to remember because of all the information and of course everyone is an expert. Haha! Good luck! Keep me posted. I would love to know how it goes. If all goes as planned I will have my first iui late this month. And mizzy409 age is a frustrating thing! Feels like yesterday I thought eh I am only 30 and have plenty of time. Now I am pushing 38 thinking where did the time go and why does that muscle I didn’t know I had hurt all of the sudden. Lol

valentinjes11

mizzy409

Good luck! I know it’s hard but try not to get too hung up on getting just the right donor. If you have to go through this process long, hopefully not, you’ll probably find that this decision really wasn’t nearly as important as you think it is today. Women on the single mothers by choice forum have gone through multiple donors. I was lucky I got my first choice. But needed four vials and used every one. In the end when you’re holding your baby for the first time whether you got your first choice or tenth choice donor I doubt you’ll be thinking much about him at all except maybe thanking him.

Sugacookie

I'm 37 (will be 38 in February) and preparing for ICI within the next two weeks. I am petrified, but so excited! I just purchased my vials last week, and have been working with my OBGYN to overcome my PCOS symptoms to become ovulatory. I've ovulated the past 3 months in a row with clomid, so I am ready to get this show on the road. Have any of you done ICI? What tips do you have? I purchased some softcups because I have read they can help holding the specimen in, but other than that I am unsure. My original gynecologist was not very supportive of my trying to conceive because of my age and being overweight, but my GP and new OBGYN seem to think I can do this. I'm financially stable but - like several of you - just haven't found the right person to do this with. Maybe he'll come along, but I didn't want to wait any longer! Best to you all!!