Any advice for someone just starting the process?

dejay5120

I'm completely new to this and it's exciting but very intimidating. I've narrowed donors down to 2 - one is ID option and the other is not (neither have had pregnancies). I'd like to know any thoughts on pros to a non ID? Any advice on how to deal with people's questions and a child's questions?

Also, my boyfriend and I do not live together and he does not want more children (he is 10 years older than me) and this may force our lives to go in separate directions, which I am prepared for. At 36, I have decided that this is what I want and need to do while I am able and work from home. I meet with my doctor on Weds to finalize everything. Has anyone else been in a similarly complicated situation?

I'm open to any and all opinions and advice. Thanks

kathy13

I'm still in the researching phase- I know which donor I want but I'm not financially ready to have a baby yet. I'm hoping in a year or two I can really start the process. I just wanted to say, good luck and I hope everything goes well!

HopefulNiki

I am just starting this process as well. I am a 36 year old single woman. At first I looked into adoption but now I get the urges of having a child of my own. So I am open to any tips and opinions

SpringBabyMarch14

If you're considering open ID vs anonymous, I strongly urge you to go with open ID. These babies will grow up to become kids, then adults, who have questions. It's worth the additional expense to have peace of mind that your child can contact the donor in the future. I've learned through research that there are many donor conceived people who are unhappy with how their parents brought them into the world and feel denied a part of their identity. It also helps to connect with other parents who share your donor so their kids can know their half siblings. I have three donor conceived kids (all from the same donor) and am happy to answer any questions if anyone wants to respond on this forum or PM me.

Upshaw

Is anyone keeping track of what percentage of kids successfully seek out the donor later on?

Lavenda

For the reasons you stated is exactly why I'm going with an open ID donor. I don't want to make that decision for my child or deny them the right to know where they came from. I think it's a natural inclination to know where you came from so I want my child to have that option and I don't want to make that decision for them.

IVF4Baby

I’ve decided to go with open ID donors only. I wouldn’t want my child to not know who their father is.

Babyfirst

Hi! I´m in a similar process. But I think that mine is more complicate! I live with my boyfriend and we use to say for all that we are married. However I want a child and he doesn't. Ha has already a child with 14 years old. It is so difficult! But I´ve decide to start the process and if he wants to keep with me, it would be nice! if he doesn't i'll have a child by myself.

Babyfirst

Me too! I´ve decided for the same!