Single and Trying

kamuba23

I tried twice with IUI and both were unsuccessful. I am single, professional, truning 35 in about two weeks and check out "perfect" reproductively speaking. Any thoughts on when to turn to IVF versus continuing to try IUI? Or thoughts on changing donors and when? I'd love to hear feedback and experiences as single women and any success you may have had.

Care Bear

Last year I was getting ready to turn 34 and decided I wanted a family and so I looked into all my options. My insurance would cover up to 6 AI's and 3 IVF's and I've always been a straight to the point kind of person so I opted for IVF. I suppose it depends on your patience level on how long you are willing to try IUI's.

Like you, my reproductive organs are all fine but I don't have a significant other and I wasn't going to wait around for one neither. The doctor put two embryos back in and both embryos took resulting in boy/girl twins!!! I was very fortunate to have the outcome that I had. If you are a now person - I would recommend doing IVF. It's a lot of shots, but you get over the whole ordeal eventually.

As far as the switching donors - I'm not sure on that. When I selected a donor, one of the things that I was looking for was to see if there had been a reported pregnancy so that I knew the sperm was "okay".

pequele

first off, how are you "doing" your iui? unmedicated, unmonitored? I say this only because my 1st cycle I did unmedicated, unmonitored, just poas (peed on a stick) to check for O, and did an iui. BFN! I then did cycle 2 with clomid because of a short luteal phase but unmonitored (no ultrasounds nor trigger) and just used the pee sticks (I am AWFUL with them!). BFP but ended with a blighted ovum. Cycle 3 I did the same thing but totally jumped the gun on my pee sticks and misread my surge (clomid can apparently do that!). So I gave up and said to heck with it, I'm doing a monitored cycle with a trigger (and clomid)....got a BFP and now my son will be 23 months tomorrow!

With ttc #2 I decided to go right to how I conceived my son and I got a BFP, but it ended in MC recently. Since a "falling out" with my RE over this round, I have decided to continue on with my OB instead for future cycles. While I COULD do a monitored cycle with trigger, it is a bit more difficult with them so I think I may try a round of just POAS again and see how that all goes!

I am now 37 so we would be about the same age with my #1.

When I first started my journey, I asked about "when do you switch donors" since I knew nothing about picking donors/buying vials, etc. My RE said they usually recommended 3 or 4 tries with a donor. I felt compelled to buy 3 vials with my donor originally. When cycle 2 worked then ended, I felt compelled to get more (I really liked him!) and it WORKED once so I wanted to be able to give him a little more of a chance and I ended up then buying 2 more vials for a total of 5 at the time. I think if I hadn't had a BFP on round 2 I may not have bought a few more vials. Did your donor have any reported pregnancies?

I'd certainly try another donor with reported pregnancies if you already tried 3 or 4 tries with this one and all BFNs before I even thought of moving to IVF!

good luck!

crystaleigh77

I had my first natural cycle IUI earlier this month and it didn't work, in addition the clinic I was going to really didn't make me feel taken care of so I won't be going back. Because I'm going to be 33 in December, I'm going to a new place this week that does Natural IVF. I checked out fine for all my levels and though I knew it was a long shot for the IUI to take first time around, I was crushed when I got my period...especially since I didn't make it to my date for my pregnancy test. I'm glad you asked this question bc for single women it's seems hard to find someone to relate to and the "next month" reply is the last thing you want to hear...

clbbaby09

I did natural cycles to conceive my little girl who is now 18 months. Just peed on a stick...worked the second month of trying. I was 39 when I concieved and turned 40 3 weeks after she was born. I'm now 41 and will be 42 when my second child is born. I did 2 months of natural IUI that did not work. The third month I did 50 mg of clomid unmonitored and am now 6 weeks pregnant. I'm not sure I would do the unmonitored route looking back. My hsg's were increasing more than 2 times every 2 days and I feared I was having twins which not sure how I could do twins with a 2 year old by myself. Best of luck.

Colleen

Lizanne

My advice would be to talk to your doctor and discuss options. It took me 11 tries to have my daughter with IUI. Each time we added more tests prior, then oral drugs, then shots and finally, when the timing was right, it happened. My insurance would not cover my IUI's since I was not married and I think the fertility clinic treated me a bit differently for that reason. Looking back, they probably should have switched me from, IUI to IVF, but it worked finally and I am so happy with my 3 1/2 year old daughter. As for changing donors, since it took 11 tries, I ended up using a total of 4 donors. After 4 tries, I moved onto a new donor. Good luck.
Lizanne

deh0329@hotmail.com

I think its important to make sure there are reported pregnancies for that donor. I purchased 4 vials when I was getting started and used one each month for the first thee months. I got pregnant on my third IUI. With the first IUI, my doctor put me on Clomid and did an Ultrasound to check follicles on cycle day 13. There was one so he gave me a shot of Ovidrel and I went back in two days to get IUI done. My second cyle, we did Clomid and Ultrasound on day 11 (due to schedule conflicts) and he gave me the shot to take home and told me to do the shot on day 14. I went back on day 17 for IUI and no luck. The successful cycle, I did Clomid, then ultrasound to check for follicles on day 11, shot on day 13, and IUI on day 15. SUCCESS! I think donor sperm quality is important but I also think timing is even more important. My doctor said there was only 40% motility in the vial that worked so I was worried. He also said that this time everything just "looked" perfect when he did the IUI.

Good luck to you all!!

Cathy in Ottawa

I have a 21-month old daughter (conceived at age 41).

I was told that they don't recommend IUI over age 38, because the clock is ticking and your chances are simply better with IVF. Eliminates the haphazardness of the sperm finding the egg.

I was, however, doing IUI with Clomid in the waiting months between IVF attempts, but it actually delayed the IVF attempts. I got cysts twice which threw off my cycle.

If you can afford it, or if you want to have two babies ultimately, I'd get going to the IVF.

Cathy

miel

I can imagine how discouraged you're feeling, but you're twelve years younger than I was when I conceived, so you probably aren't running out of time as quickly as you think. I used clomid, but no trigger and had two ultrasounds to make sure there really was a developing ovum. I ended up buying the most expensive pee stick (I can't remember the brand) to use right around when I thought I might be going to ovulate because I was getting really vague readings from the cheaper ones, and that one worked. I had one IUI right before ovulation and one right after (the next day) and my son is now almost 30 months old.

I got a really unfriendly response from one of the doctors at the clinic where I went and I didn't have the choice to switch clinics. I'm not sure if the doctor was trying to put me off until it was too late because he didn't think a single woman should have a child, or if he was just trying to get me to choose a more expensive opiton, but he was really discouraging. He wanted me to do a whole psychological evaluation in addition to all the physical tests because he wanted to know if I could handle the stress of being a single mother at my age (I was 44 when I started and 45 by the time I jumped through all his hoops). I refused the test, mostly because it was going to take six more months, and fortunately he quit. The next doctor looked at my chart, told me to order sperm and scheduled the insemination. It really helps to have support from your doctor.

ambrok

Ahhhhh....all these emotions this involves! LOL
37, single; but dating...just not waiting for Mr. Right anymore I can't tell you how relieved I've been since making this decision - I can take my time dating again & not feeling pressured or hearing that 'tick, tick, tick' in my head all the time. I was in my 20s when I decided that if no one was in my life, I'd have a child on my own when I was 30. Well, I was w/ my ex from 28-33...so I didn't think to do this on my own during that time! A few yrs to get my life/finances back in order after the breakup & here I am. I started looking into DI when I was 35-36 (getting info, saving $, etc).

I did OPK test for about 9 months; but all were negative. I tried basal temperature; but that was confusing & still didn't really look like I was ovulating. When I was ready (Aug 2010), I went to the Dr who gave me Clomid right away since I obviously wasn't ovulating on my own. Positive OPKs since I think the first 2 IUI's weren't timed right (looking back, I shouldn't have been so inpatient & figured out my true cycle first since being on Clomid). My 3rd IUI was timed just right (I think) & am on my 2 wk wait! I hope this is it; but also have my doubts. If this isn't a go, I'm thinking of doing a double IUI next time. Is this truely worth it? My ins doesn't cover donor sperm or IUI, so this will be a double whammy in the checkbook if/when I do a double IUI! I know it's not about the money, but I've always been one to try to be financially responsible & even moreso now that I'm trying for a baby. I don't want to be a single mom & have the added stress of debt.

I also question when I should try the IVF route rather than continuing to try IUIs?!? My Dr thinks that everything is fine on my end; but she's never done any tests on me??? How can she know? What's the most cost effective way to determine if everything is alright on my end?!?

Thanks for reading & good luck to all

bluesky10

My doctor told me that if after 3 IUIs I am still not pregnant then its time to run tests to see what is going on. I am very impatiently waiting for my cycle to start to move on with the process. I personally don’t see me having any issue being I am only 26, never been on birth control and will be on clomid with a trigger for this process.

It seems to me, after reading on here a lot of people do unmonitored, no drugs nothing way of going about things. That just doesn’t make sense to me. I look at it as, "if you are going to spend the money to do this, do it right the first time and go all out".


I love my clinic and they do it right the first time. LOve my doctor as well. They are open to single parents, gay parents or couples. It doens't matter to them, they treat all the same.

Aimeemomof3

WOW... My insurance covered nothing for single mothers, I had to be married in order for my insurance to cover any fertillity treatments. :shock:

I waited until I was 38 to TTC and only did 3 unmedicated IUI's before I jumped to IVF. (I have absolutely NO patience whatsoever!) I suppose I could have given medicated IUI's a shot!?

My 1st IVF worked (transfered a 5 day blast and froze 8) and I have a 3 yr old girl. At 40, I tried with my frozens and they all failed so I did another fresh IVF and transferred two 5 day blast and now have 13 month old boy/girls twins!!

Yes, it's hard being the sole parent (I get absolutely no help!) and caring for 3 little ones but where there is a will there is a way. Love my 3 little bambinos!

Allison

Just wanted to share my story. I was 36 when I started at the fertility clinic. I did some basic blood tests throughout the cycle to check hormone levels and had an ultrasound to check my ovarian reserve. Luckily my insurance paid for the initial testing (I had a diagnosis of "unexplained infertility." I still think that's funny-"I don't know why I'm not pregnant?'' Could it be lack o' sperm?) Insurance also paid for the IUIs. I only had to pay for the goods. I did 2 IUI cycles without drugs or anything (1 per menstrual cycle). I had been monitoring my fertility signs for about 9 months at that point and was using the Clearblue Fertility Monitor (borrowed from a friend). I got pregnant that second month! Unfortunately, I miscarried at 10 weeks. That was in February. It took 3 months until the monitor gave me a peak reading again, so I started natural IUIs again with the same donor. I did 4 with that donor and it still hadn't worked. Then I switched donors (a really intuitive friend actually picked my donor this time, with my final approval, of course). It worked the first time with the new sperm. Whether it was the switch or my body was finally ready, I don't know. I did feel like it took a while to recover from the miscarriage, but it sure was an amazing coincidence that it worked on the first try with the new donor. I'm now 14 weeks pregnant and have a fetus in there with a strong heartbeat. I turned 38 this month. It has been a long process so far, but I wouldn't have changed a thing. I'm glad I didn't use Clomid (I was dead set against it from the very beginning, unless I eventually needed it.) I think Clomid is very over used and I generally don't take medication unless I really need it. I faithfully visited my acupuncturist (and still do). I tried to maintain a healthy lifestyle as much as I could throughout all this (and still do). This is the general philosophy of how I live my life, so I am happy with how it went. I admit there were lots of times when I thought maybe I should just.... but I was patient and hopefully good things come to those who wait!

wcrowley

wanted to share a slightly different story -

I was 37 when I decided to stop waiting for a man to have babies with. My doctor (gyn) was wonderful, did a brief physical, basic bloodwork, and taught me how to Basal BT chart. She wanted to see 6 months of charts before we proceeded. I did 1 cycle of OPK to make sure my charts agreed with the POAS, and the next cycle we ordered sperm. We never discussed IVF, she just said IUI is much less invasive, cheaper, and this is where you start. When the OPK was positive, we did one insemination immediately ( they fit me in the schedule in the next hour) and a second insemination 24 hours later.

I am the miracle case that it works the first try, but I truly believe it was in part due to all the charting and planning. My donor did have previous reported pregnancies, and i admit i had one of those "hunches" about him - he was the first donor I checked out in the database, and in 6 months I just kept coming back to that one.

Anyway, 2 years later when the crazy woman inside my head started to say " You're not getting any younger, and your DD needs a sibling, you did it once, you can do it again!" My donor no longer had standard units available. I called CLI, and they said he was inactive, and suggested I double up on IVF units. They explained that this would equal the one standard unit in content, just a larger volume of fluid. So I did - exact same process, 2 inseminations 24 hrs apart after positive OPK, and another BFP!

I now have a beautiful 3 year old and a 15 month old. Thank you CLI!

sjr14221

Single and trying as well. I can't believe all the success stories from women over 40!

I got a late start at 41, and now at 43, I've had in order 6 failed iui's femara to injectables with donor #1, 2 failed IVF with donor #2 (3 embryos returned each time) and 1 failed IUI with donor #2 (and horrible OHSS). Donor #2 can obviously fertilize my eggs and the problem is most likely my age. I have 2 vials of donor #2 left; now I have to decide if I am getting more vials and if so how many? I want to continue with my own eggs for the rest of the year then move to donor egg if I have to; however my estrogen levels are getting higher and I am starting to face canceled cycles (otherwise, I'd do one every month). If I do become pregnant with my own eggs, I would like to try for a sibling at some point which will probably be donor eggs, but hopefully same donor sperm.

Should I go for new donor or stick with the one I like? His counts are good, he's produced pregnancies, and he's fertilized my tough old eggs before.

Thanks for listening...

ambrok

Update: My 3rd IUI with Clomid was in November. Since then, my OPKs have landed on either a holiday or wkend when my clinic is closed. Once, my Dr suggested maybe I needed to try a different donor; but the one I have picked is the only one that stood out for me - every time I searched...I always came back to the same donor & he did have a pregnancy record, so that is good. I saw an RE in January …very helpful! The more information I get, the better I feel about what my options are & the easier it is to remain positive!

The RE was surprised that my Dr hadn’t run any tests before doing IUIs. His thoughts were, why spend the precious time (I’m 37) & money if my tubes may be blocked or my egg reserve is too low?!? So, I have my HSG scheduled for next week…pretty nervous about that one. I’m also anxiously awaiting AF (2 days late & I never miss a period) so I can get a Clomid Challenge testing done. Also, good news…even though my ins co does not cover any infertility treatments, they will cover the testing. Yeah!

IDK, I always have this thought in the back of my head ‘maybe I waited too long to have a child’?!? I just have to remain positive & realize that I have options! If the test results are good, then the RE didn’t see a problem w/ a couple more IUIs before moving to IVF. If the results are not good, then I’ll be skipping IUI & saving up $ for IVF…possibly with an egg donor, also. There is always adoption & I haven’t ruled that out; but I don’t know how much more difficult it would be for an older, single woman to adopt over the many couples out there also?!?

So, while I’m still TTC w/o going into debt…I wish everyone else luck & thank all that have shared their story 

kwald64

hello everyone. I am so glad to have found a site where you are looking for the same thing I am. I am new to the whole planned pregnancy for a single mom thing as well as looking for a donor. I have a son turning 7 next month. I have been single for a long time. I tried dating in the beginning and then realized that I like being on my own. I dont have to answer to anyone. I dont have to ask permission to remodel my house. I dont have to create time to be a good wife. All my time is for myself and my son. I am turning 34 soon. I know thats not quite OLD! But for someone who knows they arnt going to try marriage again it does leave much time if I want to have another baby.

I'm not up to date on all the lingo and the abbreviations here so please bare with me. I am not wealthy and as a matter of fact im a little concerned about the insurance factor. My son and I are on BadgerCare for the insurance since I am self employed I cannot afford it on my own. Anyway in hopes of keeping the expenses down I am going to try the at home turkey baster method. There is a whole website on it. You use an oral medicine syringe.

Can anyone tell me what I should be looking for in my donor medically? For instance do I need to be careful about blood type and the rH factor? And can I pick the sample up from the place or have it shipped to me? I dont want to do it through the Dr's office as it might cost more.

Any advice would be appreciated

ambrok

Update...my diagnostic tests came back fine Tubes clear (note the HSG testing was painful; but a quick pain that didn't last long) & my egg reserves came back fine also (I don't remember the exact # that came back from the Clomid Challenge test).

I have switched Drs. My previous Dr gave me 50mg Clomid & IUI but never did any ultrasounds. My new Dr put me on 100mg Clomid, they did a couple of ultrasounds to see if I had any follicles growing (I have one nice one) & since all looks good, I took the hCG trigger shot tonight & my IUI is scheduled 36 hrs from now

I must say I'm terribly frightened of needles...I can't look when I get a vaccination or blood drawn; but since the hCG shot needed to be done at exactly 8:45pm tonight...I had to do it myself. I was so incredibly nervous & have been worrying myself sick for over a week!!! I did it!!! I DID IT!!! The nurse had given me a 1" needle rather than the 1.5" that was sent w/ the hCG...since I was self injecting into my thigh rather than my booty. They also suggested that you let your thigh completely dry from the alcohol wipe (used to clean the injection site) as this can cause some stinging if it's not dry. I set everything up, iced up my thigh for about 5 minutes and...just did it!!!! I couldn't bare to think about it anymore. LOL I must say it was painless, to my surprise It bled a little bit; but it's perfectly fine. Although I don't want to have to again...but if I did, I now know I can do it. I was told that the injection area will be sore for a few days like when you get a tetenus shot. My friend who is a nurse told me to use my leg...move it around & that should help w/ the soreness.

Ahhhhh....now I can get some sleep - so glad the trigger shot is done with And getting excited about the IUI coming up...may be this will be the time!!! My new Dr is also having me take progesterone suppositories, starting a few days after my IUI...this is to keep your uterus lining thick. They indicated that uterus lining is the cause of many miscarriages (I did not know that).

So, that's it for now. Luck to all

GGMarie

Do they allow women to buy a vial of semen for home use?? I'm new to the idea so any information would be helpful.

bluesky10

You have to have a doc sign off to have it sent to you, but other wise yes.

jl2011

Hi ladies,

I am going to be having my 6th IUI on Monday, 3/5/12. I am considering trying CLI...I have used Fairfax for the first 5 attempts. I know they are sister companies but I've heard great things.
My "story" as boring as it may be sounds a lot like some of yours. I am 32...wasted 5 years of my life with the wrong man. Have dated plenty since then and they are either losers, just aren't right for me, or are already done with having their kids and don't want to have anymore. It is difficult to find a man that didn't have kids young or in his late 20's and isn't divorced with kids and he is just looking for someone to have a relationship with and she hopefully already has kids cause he doesn't want to go there again.
I've been in that boat many times so last year I decided to do it on my own. After 4 failed attempts my doctor did a laparoscopy and an HCG. When he went in I had a lot of tiny cysts but one HUGE one that he had to drain. It was completely covering and blocking my left fallopian tube. He did the HCG to make sure both tubes were opened. I then waited a month to heal and tried again...it failed. So, I took about 4 months off since then and I am trying again. Started my meds yesterday (100mg chlomid) and I take my trigger shot next Saturday when I go in for the ultrasound to count the follies. They will mix the shot for me and I'll take it home to give it to myself later that evening and I'll have the IUI first thing Monday morning. I am praying it works this time. I don't know how many more disappointments I can take at this point.
Well there is my boring story. Good luck to all of you. I hope all of your hearts desires come true for you SOON!

kwald64

http://ttcassmc.blogspot.com/

Hello!

I just saw the date on your post and that your IUI is coming up very soon! I hope that all goes well this time. I attached a link to a blog I started because I am going through the same thing you are. I just got AF today and I will start clomid soon. This IS going to be my cycle! lol. I was thinking that maybe we could chat and who knows maybe we will be going through it together!

Kristy
kristywaldbuesser64@msn.com

jl2011

Hi! I went in for my ultrasound today on day 14. I had one huge follie and two smaller ones. He said only the large one will mature. Which has been normal for me for the last FIVE times. But, my doctor does things a little different. He doesn't do the trigger shot 36 hours before. I had it this morning at about 8am. I'm having my IUI monday morning (day 16) at 8am. So, 48 hours after trigger. He is a very well known fertility specialist that has been doing this for a very long time. I trust him. It may be a little different, but he swears it works.
I'll be starting my 2ww monday! Good luck to you!

jl2011

I am a little frustrated this morning and disappointed. I had my shot yesterday at about 8am...this morning at 7:30 I woke up very uncomfortable and cramping. Went to the bathroom and had the clear discharge when I wiped. (not trying to give tmi) But, it is obvious I am ovulating. I am not due for my IUI until 8am tomorrow morning. So, I am convinced that these last five IUI's have been a complete waste and we have been completely missing it. I am ovulating well before the IUI. This is so disappointing...

kwald64

Wow that is dissapointing. I too am concerned about the timing! I started what I thought was AF on the 1st. I had to wear a pad but it was just brown. But then on the 3rd I woke up with red AF so I am thinking the 3rd is my actual day one. I am hoping i am not screwing up things. since my meds will start on day 5. Last month I had 1 great follie and was very much looking forward to TTC last cycle. however the clomid had made my lining not as thick so we did not try. I am no a med to help with the lining this cycle and PRAY that I can TTC this month. I know you know how badly I want this.

Did you call your dr and tell him you were Oing? maybe he coulda got you in. I am concerned about this same issue for me in 2 weeks. did you go in this morning anyway?

let me know what happens.

come chat at http://ttcassmc.blogspot.com/ if you want. it sooo helps to talk with someone going through the same thing.

esg

jl2011, your timing may not be shot.
How did it work out for you?

jl2011

I went in this morning as planned and my doctor reassured me that everything was ok even if I did ovulate yesterday. But, he said what I thought was cervical mucus is not a sure sign of ovulation. He said it is thick and tacky. What I had was more like the KY coming out that he used Friday for the ultrasound. But, he was very optimistic. He reminded me that even though this is attempt # 6 it is only # 2 after my laparoscopy when they found blockages and problems and cleared them up. The total motile count was 30 million. One large egg. Fingers crossed that this is the last time I have to do it and hopefully get great news in two weeks!
Don't give up ladies! Keep your head up. Our time will come and we will be that much more thankful for our little ones after we have worked this hard to have them!
And Kwald...don't be discouraged. I would go with my first day of full flow. The brown could have just been discharge. The chlomid and everything else really throws our bodies off. Don't give up!
Thanks for asking about me esg. It went well. Slightly more uncomfortable during the procedure this time and I had a little more cramping afterwards. But, I am fine. Now it is time to be as patient as I can be these next two weeks.

kwald64

Hello
Im so glad that your doctor was not concerned and you were able to go ahead with the IUI. I know I was so dissapointed that my lining had thinned and i did not get to try last time so I am praying everything looks good this month and I get to give it a go. I would be feeling really excited right now if i were you. and I had not thought of the KY that does make sense too.

I finally got ahold of my dr this evening about finding out if today should be day 3 or 5 for me. He said to go ahead and make this day 5 and count those first 2 light days. I sure hope we are doing the right thing. I took my clomid tonight at 730 (cuz I didnt get the message till then!) and I set the alarm on my phone for 730 each night. I really would rather take it in the morning but this is the card i was dealt so i am jsut going to go with it. I have heard that some dr's start clomid on Cd3 and some on cd5 so all in all it actually doesnt really matter. if anything i will be going in too early and i will jsut have to go back. no biggie.

please keep us posted on your 2ww!! prayers are with you!

esg

jl2011, I was told its a good thing to cramp more during/after IUI. Should help with pregnancy. My fingers are crossed!

kwald64, glad to hear that either way your timing is fine. You're on your way!

jl2011

Ok I am gonna try to ask this question without giving TMI. But I had the thin clear cervical mucus Sunday. My doctor assured me it was ok to have the iui Monday and said cervical mucus is actually "thick and tacky". I had the iui Monday 3/5. Now today on Thursday 3/8 I just went to the bathroom and wiped and had thick yellowy sticky stuff. What the heck is that. And is that actually cervical mucus and I am ovulating a full 19 days after my first day of my period???? I am so confused.

bluesky10

The trigger shot makes you ovulate typically with in 36 hours of giving it.

That said, I typically am not ready to ovulate until about day 17-18 of my cycle. I always had my IUI's 36 hours after trigger. Second time was the charm for me. My beautiful peanut is asleep in her crib as I type.