Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Single and First Time Trying
Recently I chose a sperm donor and purchased sperm this week. I will begin IUI in a few months. I am still learning how the IUI process works. I am 34 and have always wanted children but have not found the right person. I am very excited about the idea of having a baby but also very apprehensive. Mainly, due to unsupportive comments from my fmaily (those that know) and knowing that there will be negative comments from friends. I understand that doing this alone is unconventional but I also know that my child will be loved very much. Did anyone experience negative comments from friends or family when they found out you were trying to have a baby as a single mother? Any advice for me as I begin this process?
Thanks!
Thanks!
Comments
anyway that is all beside the point. I have not told my dad yet and he will be the one that has the biggest opinion. Not sure how to bring it up with him. The last time he was here we didnt talk much and there was lots of silence I think because I wanted to talk about it and I was thinking about it but kinda scared. I have also told a couple friends that seem to be excited for me and say do it!
I would like to go through this and compare notes with someone that is also new to it. So please keep me posted to where you are at in the process and how things are going. I am still in the research mode really. I have looked at a couple donors but still havnt figured out where this is going to happen. I would like to try it at home for financial reasons. I have a 7 year old son and I still get regular periods and I can tell when Im ovulating so I hope that I can just do it at home. But im not sure if the clinic can mail me the vials or if i can pick them up. tons of questions!
That said, if you are going to do this, it would be best to go to a doc. Find out what your insurance covers. Its alot more successful at a doc then trying on your own.
im not sure where you are from but did your assisted insurance cover anything?
thanks!
I did get lucky and my covers anything related to treatment except the actual procedure, the drugs and the sperm. I am not sure if you are close to MN boarder or not but I can recommend a good doc if intrested, and they do a 20% discount if you pay that day. I do most of my stuff at the regular doctor, but do the insemination at their clinic. My partner had one child naturally in 98. She got preggo on her first IUI in 2008.
It took me two tries.
I looked at 3 different cryobanks for donors-Fairfax, California, and this one. I found that cryogenic laboratories was the cheapest at $395/vial and they offer alot of free things like baby photo, personal profile. Other cryobanks you have to pay to view the baby picture. I went ahead and purchased lifetime photos for the donor that I chose. I had the vials sent straight to the doctor. At first I had no idea how I would narrow down to choose a donor, other than height, hair color, and education, but then I was told by my doctor that I needed to choose a donor with the same RH factor and blood type as me. Once i did this, it narrowed by favorites down to 2 donors.
I mentioned to my mom about a year ago that I was thinking of doing this. She was concerned if the child had medical issues and more financial concerns. she does not know that I have started this process. My plan is to tell her once I am pregnant, if I get pregnant! It is just too much emotion going through this to have to deal with other comments that are not supportive. My mom is a wonderful person and will make a great grandma but all of this is so different then how I were raised in the conservative churches and how my mom grew up. She will love the baby so I will until I'm pregnant to tell her. My brother knows and is somewhat supportive. Friends that know about this tell me to go for it. Some have even offered to babysit!
He's 5 weeks old now and I still haven't gotten negative comments. At least not to my face. I've actually been surprised by the people who openly accept my son and even those who have told me how much they wish they would have done the same.
You sound like you're happy to go it alone so I wish you luck in your next try!
thanks
kristy
thanks
kristy
I'm 29, currently single, and am planning on getting pregnant in March of 2012. A friend who bought sperm from another lab recommended Cryolab after my potential donor at another lab ran out of vials.
I was devastated at first, but am actually much happier with the donor I found on this site. I am obviously new to this process but today I ordered lifetime photos and sent my potential donor information to my parents and siblings. I want them to be a part of the process from the beginning. My next step is to see a doctor and assess my fertility. I'm (technically) still in my 20's so I'm hoping I can just purchase iui and have the process handled at my doctor's office. We'll see what my doctor says.
I actually don't have a primary physician yet but luckily I do have insurance so I am going to figure out who that will be over the next few weeks. My tentative timeline is to see a qualified doctor next week, get tested, and then purchase the vials by mid May at the latest. I will take my time choosing a primary doctor this year, but at least the vials will be purchased and ready for me to use when I'm ready in March of 2012.
It didn't even occur to me to see if any of this was covered by insurance. I am going to check on that later this week. I appreciate the person who brought that up in the forums and I'm glad this forum exists.
... My family is happy for me but also concerned, I can tell. My father is not happy AT ALL with the way I'm going about getting pregnant but he accepts me as I am. I am a bisexual/queer person so gaining acceptance on that took years -- I am not too worried about what anyone else thinks about the way I'm having a child.
The one thing I'm not thrilled about is going into this as a single person. I was in a LTR that ended about 5 months ago, but I am not going to let being single keep me from my dreams of being a mother. I am also going to be a foster parent. I know that eventually I'll be in another LTR and I just need to make sure that person is emotionally/financially/mentally capable of being a good parent before I get into anything with him/her.
I am a very blessed person with a good job and a support network, so I know I will be ok. I do appreciate this forum however because I am still very scared and even though I'm not doing this until March of 2012, it's still a lot to process.
I do have a lot of lingering questions but I figure my doctor will answer most of them and I'll also keep browsing this forum. Thanks for sharing your stories, it's really helpful to someone like me.
Here's my take: I'm not advertising that I'm doing this; but I not hiding it either. When someone finds out, I'm a strong person & will listen to their concerns/questions; but I will not be put down because of this. If they are giving me nothing but grief, I will inform them that unless they are going to be supportive, they need to be quiet about this topic. I'm a grown women, I've sacrificed to be able to afford a child on my own, I'm not doing this to snub males at all....I just haven't found one, yet! Most think i'm crazy & I'd agree with that a little bit. LOL When dating, I don't mention what I'm doing until they bring up the kid conversation...some run, so are intriqued, some are perfectly fine with it. I do, however, think it's funny how some men are OK dating women that have children; but are freaked out if you are trying to conceive w/ a donor...I just don't get it?!?
If you are truly ready to do this...I think you also need to be willing to face the tough questions from others while holding your head high. I look at it this way, when I do have a child....I will not be ashamed of them, so why would I be shamed by the process of having them?!? I would never allow someone to treat my child as 'less than' because they were brought into this world with the help of a donor.
The only question I haven't been able to answer is how will I explain all of this to the child some day & my response is this...how do you explain why a deadbeatmom/ dad never sees their kids, how do you explain things to an adopted child, etc??? No one has the perfect answer; but I plan on going to see a counselor when the time comes to get more ideas on how to address this. There is no perfect life; but we all do the best we can.
Hope this helps....
I'm single, 36 yrs old and work full time (12-13 hrs shifts).... Anybody out there work long hours too? How did you deal??
How was the labor- did you have a doula or support person with you during delivery?
How are you affording child care when you went back to work? Talking with co-workers, I had NO IDEA how expensive day care is!!!!!!! Ouch!
Can anybody tell me how the IVF meds were? Of course all you hear is the horror stories but anybody have any constructive comments/experiences?
I've told myself I'm only attempting IVF once...that's all I can afford. If it isn't successful I will have to wait a couple years and do adoption.
I'll take any advice, tips...
I am so excited that there is a forum here for us gals to support each other!