Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Couples with Fertility Issues
erikim21
Junior Member Junior Member
I would love to hear some input on other couples dealing with male infertility issues. I have yet to talk to anyone in our same boat. My husband and I have been married for 8 years, found out that he was infertile 3 years ago. Ever since, we have been having problems with our sex life. He takes it very personally.
When we discussed our pursuit of a family - he was more open to using a donor versus adoption. I think that we would love if I were to become pregnant - but I think that he has also finally come around to the idea of adoption as a very viable option as well.
Is anyone else dealing with an insecure husband?
When we discussed our pursuit of a family - he was more open to using a donor versus adoption. I think that we would love if I were to become pregnant - but I think that he has also finally come around to the idea of adoption as a very viable option as well.
Is anyone else dealing with an insecure husband?
Comments
I was really lucky in that my husband didn't really take it personally that the problems were male factor. He was very open to donor sperm and once we started looking at the donors available, he was even more enthused. We got pregnant the very first cycle which really threw us for a loop! It was wonderful to share the pregnancy together and I think that was more meaningful than knowing it wasn't his sperm you know?
I think my husband sometimes feels funny when people tell him how much the baby looks like him, but we did choose a donor with similar features and ethnicity.
If you have any questions or anything, i'd be happy to help any way possible!
Good luck!
Kat
He had a hard time with knowing we had to use a donor at first- he thought we might have a miracle child (until I pointed out I had not been on birth control for three years). I purchased two books, one of which was extremely helpful- it is called Helping The Stork. This is an emotional process, but we both came to the realization that the second we hold that baby and look into his or her eyes- we would not have wanted it any other way, because that would mean this baby would not exist! Good luck to you!
My husband produced 2 beautiful children from his first marriage and after the second, had a vasectomy. Long story short, I come along and never having had a child of my own, wanted a baby. To be truthful, he would be happy not having another child, but understands how important it is to me and so is willing to do whatever it takes (after many months of discussion and working through issues). He went through the pain and trauma of a vasectomy reversal, but sadly it's not been successful. Off we trekked to Shady Grove and they recommended IVF with ICSI. But first I had to loose nearly 50lbs and the clock was ticking...I was 38. The whole 50lbs thing, the cost of IVF with ICSI and my age really messed with my mind and instead of loosing weight, I gained weight. I think we quietly put the idea of a baby on the backburner for a while.
Then in August I turned 39 and I felt a firecracker light under my butt....I was determined to be a healthy weight and fit when I turn 40 next year. I've lost 25lbs now. Somewhere in this weightloss process, the baby idea surfaced again. I needed to either make a full go at it one last time or let it go and begin the mourning process. I'd also been quietly tossing around the idea of donor sperm for a few months and finally spoke with my husband about it. He wasn't thrilled, but he's also logical...there is no way we can ever afford IVF with ICSI, especially if we need multiple cycles. And, I am nowhere near loosing another 25lbs. So he finally agreed to it. But he wanted to drive the whole process, to be involved at every stage. This is such a wonderful attitude, and I'm very happy to let him take the reins here. So he's done the initial searches, choosing potential donors for us. I somehow thought with ICI that weight didn't come into it, so imagine my shock when Shady Grove told me I still had to loose another 4lbs! Luckily I'm in a really good place with my weight, and I can manage 4lbs.
So that's where we are. Still at the beginning really, hoping to having all the preprocesses complete and ready for insemination by mid-November.
Good luck to all!
I'm here of course because of MFI. My husband had no problem agreeing to use donor sperm and he seems to be having an easier time with it than me. It took me a long time to accept it. I've already had 2 IUI's and no success yet. After the IUI I always feel excited at first but then I can't stop thinking about how we had to use a donor and I tend to freak out during the 2ww. I panic about being pregnant by someone I don't know. What can I do to not have those thoughts during the 2ww? After my BFN's I'm always so sad that it didn't work and anxious to try again. I'm really confused about my mixed feelings.
Thanks for listening!
The best advice I can give you is that keep reminding yourself this is what needs to be done - you're not 'lucky' enough to be able to do it naturally but you'll have a great story to tell your child about how much they were wanted (heck, you can even show them the bills if they enter their teenage years and say that you never wanted them!) If you want to talk, send me a PM here!
Hi Layne: Congrats on the birth of your daughter, I have twin daughters by the same donor as you, I believe. My husband gets the same response from people about how much the girls look like him.