Former SMC

I am facing a dilema that has me feeling torn inside. Any advice, condolences or words of encouragement would be great.

High level overview of my background:
1. Married a man for all the wrong reasons
2. Got pregnant
3. Got divorced
4. Got pregnant (thank you Fairfax!!!!) and realized I should have done it this way from the begining
5. Got married again, this time for all the right reasons
6. Working on the adoption so my husband can adopt my youngest child

The issue? I want another child and he does not. He is perfectly happy with the 2 we have.
Times like these are when it seems easier to be an SMC because the decision would be my own.
Anyone else out there in a similar situation?