Donor sperm vs. adoption

llvp
llvp Junior Member
in Couples with Fertility Issues
I have gone through the testing and am ready to pick a donor, but my husband and I are still unsure as to whether we should go ahead with donor sperm or adopt. There are so many uncertainties with both, and I don't know if it's fair that I get to pass on my genes and he doesn't or how the child will feel knowing their father isn't their biological father. I do have a strong desire to be pregnant and experience that, but I don't know if I'm being selfish. Any thoughts on how to decide?
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  • cosmosmomma
    cosmosmomma Junior Member Junior Member
    My husband and I went through the exact same thing. My husband was unable to get me pregnant due to his cancer at a young age wiping out all sperm production. We went and talked to a counselor. She helped us talk through the "pros/cons" of each direction. It was good to talk to a objective 3rd person that wasn't a family member. We ended up using donor sperm and I had the best pregnancy ever. I wish you luck which ever route you choose.
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  • ladymacb29
    ladymacb29 Member Member
    We were in the same place, but since I only needed IUIs, it was much cheaper to do IUIs and would take a lot longer than adoption. We would have adopted, but we're already in our 30s and didn't want to spend more time waiting. (We didn't think it was fair for an older child to get parents who would be fairly close in age to the child and who have never parented before... especially when the older children typically have more problems...)

    I talked with a coworker who was adopted for her ideas of how our child would think knowing we used donor sperm and she reassured me...
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