Breaking the news....

Kleonard83

Hello everyone. I was wondering if anyone had some good advice on how to tell family members who are not accepting of homosexuality that you and your partner want to have a baby? Most of my family is very accepting of me being gay. The only one is my stepfather. My mother is not crazy about it but she loves my partner and has told me that she wants me to be happy. My stepfather on the other hand told me that "society is telling children that homosexuality is ok, when it's not." My partner and I have been together for 2 years and are committed and we want to start a family. I am just a little nervous to have to tell my mother and stepfather. In the end I am going to do what makes me happy but just thought any words of advice would help. Thank you

heidibee

I come from a military family and the policy was don't ask, don't tell when it came to me being gay. I am fairly close to my mom so I would drop hints to test the water. She was not ready to hear it but I would kept talking. My dad is another creature all together. I am sure he thinks like your stepfather he does not vocalize it to me though. I got pregnant in March 2008 and did not tell him until April or May. The entire family knew already. I remember telling him that if all goes well he will be a grandpa in December. I was shaking. He said he did not think it was a good I idea for me to have children but I am his daughter and he will always love me. Two years later, he loves his grandson and we are trying again. Mom knows and he does not. Somethings never change.
It is hard not to love a baby especially when the baby is his 'grandchild'. Just try to be prepared to politely dispute anything negative he may say. 'There have been homosexuals throught human history'. 'We are not asking for your approval as we will do what is best for our family but we would like your support.' Just be strong and know you have tons of other people in your life that support and love you.

Kleonard83

Thanks Heidbee! My stepfather is not in the military, but very catholic. Not sure which is worse as far as open mindedness goes! I think in the end all will work out and be ok. Thank you for your response, much appreciated!

bluesky10

My partner and I have been together for 4 years. We have a almost 2 year old daughter together, and now its my turn. My family doenst have issues. The ones that do, dont say much.

Her family on the other hand are very closed minded, tell her shes going to hell and all that good stuff. When she had our daughter it wasnt a big deal as it was her child. They however do not see her as my child, I have not adopted her. I have been wanting to as I honestly think if something were to happen to my partner, her family would take our daughter and I wouldnt see her again. I am also pretty sure when they hear the news again, they wont claim my child as their grandchild, but honestly I dont care if they do or not. I have a strong family that will give him/her anything they need. Plus my opinion is with their thoughts and ideas like so it would be best for the child to not have them in his or her life.

Kleonard83

Hey Bluesky, I am worried as well about my stepfather not accepting our child or children as his own grandchildren. But you are right in that, if someone has an issue with it than it would be better off not having them involved. I had sat down with my stepdad to talk about me being gay, and told him that he is entitled to his opinion but I am who i am and i can not change that. It's all very stressful but I just have to keep reminding myself that this is my life, my decisions and my happiness. You know people can have their opinions but they don't have to walk in our shoes. Stay strong as you are