Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
One ovary, single and soon-to-be unemployed...
njbaby79
Junior Member
At 31 I thought I’d be traveling Eastern Europe with my amazing life partner. Instead I am a ball of nerves and tears fretting over a monstrous student loan, one ovary and near unemployment. Timing I am told, is everything. Well, when will someone let timing know I need him/her to shape up? Timing really must be a man because women tend to have things at least sorted out. Ok, that was a bit unfair, but I have to sneak in some humor here and there. I like many others using this forum, found myself in a less than ideal reproductive situation. In 2008 I passed out in an airport in Little Rock, AR only to wake up in a strange hospital with a nurse telling me my surgery went well. Say whaaa? Apparently I had a 12cm dermoid cyst explode in my abdomen at some point. My body was in the beginning stage of septic shock. As a means of saving my organs and ultimately my life, the doctors went in and cleaned up the mess. I knew I had been a bit crampy and uncomfortable for a few months, but as a woman I had grown to accept the occasional twinge and pressure. Unfortunately 9 days later, on my birthday, I had to have my left ovary removed. Happy Birthday to me! ?
Of course I began hounding my GYN, the best GYN I know, about my chances of conceiving children. She told me that I had nothing to worry about. Despite having the highest level of confidence and trust in my doctor, I thought I would find out for sure. I requested a full noninvasive scan and ultrasound of my body, full hormonal check-up and estrogen supplements. Since my insurance coverage was awesome and I was financially able to foot the bill for any lingering costs, my doctor humored my requests. As it turns out, I was pretty healthy except for one thing, my estrogen levels were lower than my testosterone levels. ? Apparently my extensive weight and strength training had thrown my body out of whack. I was producing more testosterone than estrogen. That was a side tickler. I looked awesome from a physique standpoint for a young woman of my age. I actually worked with my doctor’s personal trainer to help improve some areas she wanted to work on. Everything was so nice and not masculine looking so I wasn’t sure how that happened. Nonetheless she gave me some meds that helped to correct the problem.
Once I got over the whole estrogen good, too much testosterone bad scenario, I began mentally preparing for a child. I had no options in the way of a partner and I would not consider the whole guy friend = known donor for obvious reasons. The only feasible option in my mind was donor sperm. Now how can I sneak that by my family and friends? I have never been one for caring about what others think especially when it’s something I want for myself, but I do value the logic that sometimes comes from those that I trust and love the most. I had pondered the stigma that society and ill-informed people tend to attribute to such a means of conception, but society doesn’t have to raise my child. The negative connotations of “test-tube babies” and children that may never know 50% of their lineage are unpleasant and still alive and kicking. I had to prepare myself to fight such battles that my child may face one day. I know I will be and am strong enough, but how will my child cope? I really took some serious time to do some soul-searching. Fearing that your child may resent you or yearn for knowledge and interactions that I may never be able to give him/her is tough to rationalize. I can only provide my willingness to answer questions, seek out avenues available for assistance and love my child with every fiber of my being. I vowed to never withhold any aspect of my decision and struggles to achieve a live birth.
So here I am today, starring down the scope of cycle number 3.
Round 1: Went to the Insemination troll as I like to call it. Femara was taken on days 3-7 of my cycle. 4 excellent follies (13mm, 8mm, 10mm, 12mm) on the right side, perfect cervical mucus, 250mcg Ovidrel on day 12, IUI on day 13. Spotting on day 6 of the 2WW…assumption of it being implantation spotting. Got a BFN on 2 HPTs on day 14 of the dreaded 2WW. Retest done on day 15, BFN. ? Spotting the day before AF. AF smiled on the following day. ? Crushed…cried all day and all night.
Round 2: Went to the Insemination troll again. Femara once again, 2 follies (20mm and 13mm). 250mcg of Ovidrel on day 12, IUI on day 13. Spotting bright red on day12 of the 2WW. Scared to death. Spotting again on day 15, AF smiled on day 16 post IUI.
I had nothing but starry eyes and not a single thought of how I would feel should the first cycle not work. I could not regroup for nearly a month. I hated seeing babies, though I love the sight of them. My spirit was broken. I starting blogging about my journey on Wordpress for days. Finally I got it together and prepared for my second cycle. Before my ultrasound was scheduled, I learned my job of six years was ending. The company was sold and ALL the employees would be let go in 60 days. ? Crushed yet again. Talk about a shock. Luck is not on my side. Well, since the company is gracious enough to allow our benefits to carry through an entire month after the closing, I decided to give things one last try before I have to foot the entire bill. I couldn’t have imagined things would have gone this route. This experience has been a humbling one. I have not reached my goal of motherhood as of yet, but my faith in God has been renewed and strengthened. I would hear of couples/women going through similar processes prior to doing it myself and I always sympathized for them. Funny thing is I never thought I would EMPHATIZE with them at any point. Life always has a way of humbling the most confident of us all. I wish the best and much success to everyone on here. I hope you keep me in mind and send some baby dust my way too. This journey has been difficult for me, since I am going in alone and with only one distant shoulder to lean on. I would love an email buddy if anyone is interested….
(seen.your.services@gmail.com)
¸.·´¯`·.´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><(((º> »-(¯`·.·´¯)->GOING TO BE A MOMMY<-(¯`·.·´¯)-« [{-_-}] ZZz zz...
Of course I began hounding my GYN, the best GYN I know, about my chances of conceiving children. She told me that I had nothing to worry about. Despite having the highest level of confidence and trust in my doctor, I thought I would find out for sure. I requested a full noninvasive scan and ultrasound of my body, full hormonal check-up and estrogen supplements. Since my insurance coverage was awesome and I was financially able to foot the bill for any lingering costs, my doctor humored my requests. As it turns out, I was pretty healthy except for one thing, my estrogen levels were lower than my testosterone levels. ? Apparently my extensive weight and strength training had thrown my body out of whack. I was producing more testosterone than estrogen. That was a side tickler. I looked awesome from a physique standpoint for a young woman of my age. I actually worked with my doctor’s personal trainer to help improve some areas she wanted to work on. Everything was so nice and not masculine looking so I wasn’t sure how that happened. Nonetheless she gave me some meds that helped to correct the problem.
Once I got over the whole estrogen good, too much testosterone bad scenario, I began mentally preparing for a child. I had no options in the way of a partner and I would not consider the whole guy friend = known donor for obvious reasons. The only feasible option in my mind was donor sperm. Now how can I sneak that by my family and friends? I have never been one for caring about what others think especially when it’s something I want for myself, but I do value the logic that sometimes comes from those that I trust and love the most. I had pondered the stigma that society and ill-informed people tend to attribute to such a means of conception, but society doesn’t have to raise my child. The negative connotations of “test-tube babies” and children that may never know 50% of their lineage are unpleasant and still alive and kicking. I had to prepare myself to fight such battles that my child may face one day. I know I will be and am strong enough, but how will my child cope? I really took some serious time to do some soul-searching. Fearing that your child may resent you or yearn for knowledge and interactions that I may never be able to give him/her is tough to rationalize. I can only provide my willingness to answer questions, seek out avenues available for assistance and love my child with every fiber of my being. I vowed to never withhold any aspect of my decision and struggles to achieve a live birth.
So here I am today, starring down the scope of cycle number 3.
Round 1: Went to the Insemination troll as I like to call it. Femara was taken on days 3-7 of my cycle. 4 excellent follies (13mm, 8mm, 10mm, 12mm) on the right side, perfect cervical mucus, 250mcg Ovidrel on day 12, IUI on day 13. Spotting on day 6 of the 2WW…assumption of it being implantation spotting. Got a BFN on 2 HPTs on day 14 of the dreaded 2WW. Retest done on day 15, BFN. ? Spotting the day before AF. AF smiled on the following day. ? Crushed…cried all day and all night.
Round 2: Went to the Insemination troll again. Femara once again, 2 follies (20mm and 13mm). 250mcg of Ovidrel on day 12, IUI on day 13. Spotting bright red on day12 of the 2WW. Scared to death. Spotting again on day 15, AF smiled on day 16 post IUI.
I had nothing but starry eyes and not a single thought of how I would feel should the first cycle not work. I could not regroup for nearly a month. I hated seeing babies, though I love the sight of them. My spirit was broken. I starting blogging about my journey on Wordpress for days. Finally I got it together and prepared for my second cycle. Before my ultrasound was scheduled, I learned my job of six years was ending. The company was sold and ALL the employees would be let go in 60 days. ? Crushed yet again. Talk about a shock. Luck is not on my side. Well, since the company is gracious enough to allow our benefits to carry through an entire month after the closing, I decided to give things one last try before I have to foot the entire bill. I couldn’t have imagined things would have gone this route. This experience has been a humbling one. I have not reached my goal of motherhood as of yet, but my faith in God has been renewed and strengthened. I would hear of couples/women going through similar processes prior to doing it myself and I always sympathized for them. Funny thing is I never thought I would EMPHATIZE with them at any point. Life always has a way of humbling the most confident of us all. I wish the best and much success to everyone on here. I hope you keep me in mind and send some baby dust my way too. This journey has been difficult for me, since I am going in alone and with only one distant shoulder to lean on. I would love an email buddy if anyone is interested….
(seen.your.services@gmail.com)
¸.·´¯`·.´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><(((º> »-(¯`·.·´¯)->GOING TO BE A MOMMY<-(¯`·.·´¯)-« [{-_-}] ZZz zz...
Comments
Your story touched me and I had to respond. I truely belive that everything happens for a reason, usually we don't find out why until months later. While dealing with a difficult situation this thought does not always help but I have to remind myself that there is something that I will learn and somehow I will come out the other side of the situation ok. This has become my mantra for the past two months. I too have 1 ovary. this past fall, I had a dnc and laproscopic surgery due to endometriosis. Before the surgery the doctor told me that she was not sure what wold happen with my left ovary because it appeared to be covered in the endometriosis. At that statement, I cried and said.... don't take my ovary please! I want to have children someday. I was 36 at the time and have just turned 37. After the surgery, the doctor told me that she was able to save the ovary, I was never so happy. Then 5 days later I am in the hospital in horrendous pain. I was in the hospital for the next 8 days due to an infection in my uterus as well as a softball size abcess in my abdomin. I left the hospital on iv antibiotics and did that for 3 weeks. No luck the abcess was still there, the infection in my uterus had cleared up in the hospital (thank goodness). So another surgery was planned. this time I told the doctor, take the ovary please! I had come to the conclusion that 1 ovary was sufficiant, the left one was causing too many problems! So that it what happened. My fear going into this surgery was that the abcess was going to somehow be attached to my uterus and I was going to wake up without any of my parts..... thankgoodness that did not happen. Although that was my first question upon waking.... did they take my uterus? There was a laugh and goodness no but they did take your ovary.... big sigh of relief for me. This all happened this past fall. I returned to work at the end of october after having 2 months off. Prior to this illness I had a bank of sick time now I have a little over a week
I had been thinking about having a baby on my own for a number of years and kept thinking I still have time. than this fall happened. While it was not a pleasant expreience and was definately humbling I am now glad that I went through it. I have learned that I can not control everything and that I need to ask for help at times. And by asking for help people will answer and I am not a weak person. Instead it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. So after about 3 months I decided that it was now or never and I scheduled an appointment with my RE. I have never been so excited to have my period that I have been the past few months!! All the tests from the RE came back good. My one ovary is working and the tibe is open. I had my first IUI in march. I was positive that it was going to work. After the IUI the tww was agonizing. the whole time I really thought I was pregnant. This is when the internet is a horrible things becasue I was constantly going on line to see if what I was feeling could be a sign. I am definately NOT doing that this time. I drove me and my family crazy. 14 days post IUI, I did the test and got a BFN much too my surprise and agony. I cried and than had to go to work, not the best day. When I started my period 2 days later, i thought ok here we go again, but there were other plans for me. During the ultrasound there was a large cyst on my ovary so not IUI cycle in april, instead I was put on birth control to make sure that the cyst went away. So here I am day 4 of my cycle, on 100 mg of clomid and awaiting the trigger shot hopefully on May 6th mother's day! I am going to do a few things differently this time.....
Last time I involved everyone, my family is very supportive and actually helped me to pick my donor! They are all as excited as I am but telling them that it didn't work was heart breaking. so this time only my mom and sister will know. I have told my friends that I will not be telling them this time and only want to call them with the good news they understand. My 11 year old niece is upset that I will not tell her when it is happening. I tried to explain that it was too hard hearing her count down the days, although it was cute, she told everyone and I mean everyone that I was trying to get pregnant and even told them the count down days to my test. She lives with me so it is going to be a little hard not to say anything, as I am very honest with her but I am going to try because I know once she knows, she will not keep the info to herself even if I tell her. So here's too lots of baby dust this month!
Since starting this process into motherhood it has been amazing to me how many people I have heard are also going this route. I have had people who do not agree with my decision, particulary my best friend's husband but most have been very supportive. Once I told people, I than found out about people they know who have done the samething. No one has told me that the children are having difficulty. I believe that is something that is a possibility but I plan on being open with my child from the beggining. Those who are not supportive, I don't have a lot of contact with. That has been difficult since because of that I have not had a lot of contact with my best friend but I have my twin sister as a huge support and the rest of my friends and family. I am truly trying to stay positive. so let me know when you are going through your next cycle, it would be nice to have someone to go through this together. I think its hard for my family during the tww but no one really knows unless they've been there.
Good luck and best wishes too you!
Robin