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The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
considering single mother by choice
prettykitty123
Junior Member
For years, I have wanted a child, despite not having a boyfriend or husband. Recently, I have strongly considered becoming a single mother by choice. I honestly have no interest in getting married right now, yet I want a child.
I have seen several books on Amazon.com about single mothers by choice, but don't know what ones are good to read. Can anyone recommend one?
Jessie
I have seen several books on Amazon.com about single mothers by choice, but don't know what ones are good to read. Can anyone recommend one?
Jessie
Comments
I checked out a few books from my library (luckily they had some)...which really helped me get through this decision, as well as this forum, and talking with family/friends. library is a cheap way to check them out.
I also posted a similar top, "books???" (scroll down a bit on this board)...and many other books are listed.
I started this journey at 40 years old and now 41....wish I had started earlier....but I guess I just wasn't ready before...I didn't want to give up on my dream of finding my partner in life. He never came....so I finally decided. But I still wish I had started earlier...
Good luck on your journey!
1. Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook For Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood By Jane Mattes
2. Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide by Mikki Morrisette
3. KNock yourself Up by Louise Sloan
The first two are good guides and the third is a great humourous look at the process. These were my favorite three when I wa sin the thinking stage.
Also check out the website/forums... Single Mother By Choice and Choice Moms. Both groups have a big presence on-line and both have local chapters usuallty in metropolitan areas that meet regularly. Lots of "thinkers" attend these meetings.
Good Luck!
I need some advice from those of you who have been here before... please.
I have tried iui 4 times unsuccessfully and took a few months off before trying again.
So its about time to start again and I am hoping to plan maternity leave just before summer so I can have extra time off with a baby (teacher schedule
But my cycles are a little earlier than I might have liked which would put me due a few weeks earlier than I would like. Of course thats ONLY if everything works this time.
So do I try again starting in June or wait til July so if it works I would be due after spring break next year?
I learned how hard the 2 ww is last time around and don't really want to talk to others about it becuase I just can't handle any more "are you pregnant yet's".
So your advice and thoughts are needed.
THANKS!!!!!
The point I'm trying to make is try to be flexible and receptive to change. Don't over analyze and stress about timing. There are no guarantees and it will happen when its supposed to. I'm a planner and knew I would be preggo after my first IUI. Now that I just had my 3rd IUI, I know that I cannot predict if and when it will ever work. Time will tell. Be encouraged and it only makes it more stressful when many others know your plans, and then it doesn't work out. Be descret when it happens especially the first trimester.
Keep trying until it works. Good luck and lots of sticky baby dust!
Moe
Personally, I think you shouldn't worry about the due date....I know financially, it makes sense to be practical. Unfortunately, our bodies are not always cooperative....it would be wonderful if we could just say, "this month I'm getting pregnant"....I don't want to be pessimistic, but even if you try in June, you may not get pregnant....or you may....I just don't think it's good to hold off for a "better" month...because it's all so hard to predict.
For me personally, time is very precious because of my age (41 years old), so even though I thought about waiting after 2 unsuccessful IUIs....I decided to forge ahead! I don't want to waste anymore time.
Good luck! I understand how hard it is...it's so difficult to have people ask all the time, "so are you pregnant yet"??? Which is why I'm a bit obsessive and write on this forum all the time. It's safer and comforting to know other women are dealing with the same issues!
I read somewhere that know is when we learn that the baby is in charge of our schedule not us and I have to agree! you never know what can happen. I have been telling myself this time that it will happen when it will happen, because if it were my choice, I would have been pregnant after the first iui as would everyone on this forum. i say don't wait till july, do one in june and see what happens!
We will be here for you during the tww. I am currently in my 2ww and am doing a lot of logging onto this site to offer my thoughts to others to keep my mind off of what may be happening with my body. So far the distraction is working!
Robin
This forum has been a comfort, even when I'm just reading.
I have heard that after an HSG test sometimes people have better luck. Any of you done this? Are the rumors true?
Robin, Moweit, and Maria - thanks!
I have been saying the same thing to myself...just try June, worst case...I have to come back to work for 3 weeks before summer, but I have a sister less than a mile away willing to take care of him/her during that time. After 4 failed attempts I am almost expecting to have to try more than just one more time, which is why I hate to waste another cycle. I have thought of all things that could happen and my original hope was as long as my due date was March 15th or after I would go with trying in June - in case I went early....but is March 6th really that far off?
So...next iui...somewhere around June 13!
Thanks for the good thoughts. I don't know about better luck after an HSG. I did have one before I started this whole process, it was just one of the tests that my RE does. I also just have one ovary so we needed to make sure that the fallopian tube was open and ready!
Good luck in June! I will be sending baby dust your way and many positive thoughts!
Robin
I had my HSG done last month after two failed cycles of IUI's. So this is my first cycle trying after the HSG. The results showed that everything was open. But you are right typically there have been improved success rates after the HSG. Even if there's no blockage it can ofen clear out any debris and make it easier next go around. I will certainly let you know after my TWW is over on May 23, if it was a success.
Good luck with your next cycle and remember to exhale..... :shock:
Moe
I have never done a cycle with out clomid. I have no known fertility issues other than only having one ovary. It was my choice to do clomid because it was easier to time everything. I don't have to go off of a home test for ovulation and be worried that it isn't accurate. I start the clomid on day 3 and then go for the ultrasound on day 12. Each time the follicle has been mature and I have gotten the triggershot. I have done two rounds of iui each unsuccessful but am hopeful for the next time. Next time I am going to use injectibles. I'm hoping to get more than I mature follicle. You need to make the decision that is best for you. For me that meant the clomid and fertility drugs. Good luck!
Robin
I am new here and I'd like to share with you some of my concerns.
I am 37 years old, financial and psychological capable to take care a child.
I had a relationship for 13 years but we didn’t get marriage. I always had the big desire to be a mother and I fell the moment now. I don’t want to spend any time waiting for the right man to get marriage and have kids, time is going fast and I am afraid to be regretted in the future. So, two things are in my mind:
1- Adoption
2- Have my baby from the sperm bank and in this case what will happen when the baby ask for his dad?
Roberta
I have read Single Mothers by Choice and purchased but haven't yet read Knocking Yourself Up and Choosing Single Motherhood.
Single Mothers by Choice was life changing for me. I was so worried about the dreaded "Who's my Daddy" question but determined to go through with an IUI despite by concerns. After reading that book, I am in a completely different mindset. I am no longer worried about telling my child that he/she is the result of donor sperm. I truly recommend this book!
Thanks again for the books ideas!
Thanks!