Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
What else does it mean...
sibemom
Member Member
So I am getting ready for my second attempt as a single gal. I'm sure those of us taking similar steps face the same questions. Does anyone have insight on...
- dating with a child (particularly, do you find it harder/easier to find people that are interested in you)?
- talking to family members about what you're doing (any major surprises as you shared your news)?
Why do I ask?
Well, I was so surprised by sister and niece's response to my intentions that I've not yet worked up the nerve to say anything to my mother.
On the other question - some people instantly say how much harder it will be to find a date with a kid (my response is that it can't get much harder than it already is for me) but then a male friend offered some insight stating that if he were single someday he'd prb WANT to find someone with a kid, preferably one of the opposite sex of his child as it would lend to a balance in his world and would lessen the thought that she might want a child with him.
- dating with a child (particularly, do you find it harder/easier to find people that are interested in you)?
- talking to family members about what you're doing (any major surprises as you shared your news)?
Why do I ask?
Well, I was so surprised by sister and niece's response to my intentions that I've not yet worked up the nerve to say anything to my mother.
On the other question - some people instantly say how much harder it will be to find a date with a kid (my response is that it can't get much harder than it already is for me) but then a male friend offered some insight stating that if he were single someday he'd prb WANT to find someone with a kid, preferably one of the opposite sex of his child as it would lend to a balance in his world and would lessen the thought that she might want a child with him.
Comments
I've only shared my decision with my immediate family (who are all surprisingly very supportive)...and a few close friends. Mostly, because I was afraid I'd have to tell them every month, no I'm not pregnant yet...I think I am a bit nervous that some people won't be as supportive as I would hope, but this is my decision and I am preparing myself for those who may not be as enthusiastic as me.
As for dating with a child...I have a few friends who have kids and they don't seem to have any problems with dating. The only problem my one friend has with two kids, is that she doesn't want anymore kids....so it's been hard for her to date men who want to get married and have kids.
In fact, I find that more men are open to women with children...and more afraid of older women with no children because they are afraid that the women are going to push them to marry/kids because of their biological clock. So since we will hopefully have children, this won't be an issue!
And like you said, it can't be any more difficult than it is now?! Dating is tough! If dating was easy, I'd find myself a husband and have a baby with him...
I did have a surprise when telling some family and close friends. While almost all of my family and close friends were very supportive, my best friend's husband was not. This caught me by complete surprise. You can read the forum what to do when a friend's husband is completely against it to get the full story if interested. I'll keep it short and too the point here. This has created a huge strain between me and my best friend. In fact I have had very little contact with her since March. Her husband is very controlling anddoes not want the contact. Because I want to have a child myself he thinks that I am a man hater and that I encourage her to bash her husband. This is not true, I was supportive of my friend during everything and I have even helped them out finacially and not balked or thrown it in his face but I gues that doesn't mean anything to him. This has been very difficult for me to handle but I had a lot of support that have helped me through this. My best friend herself is very excited, just can't talk to her
I don't think dating will be an issue, it's hard now it can't get any harder. I do agree that having a child will lessen the stress of dating because you won't be looking at everyone as a potential father to a child, you already have one! Also depending on the age of the man you date most of them already have children, so it probably won't be as much of an issue as some of your family think.
When I shared the news with my family, they were not surprised as I had been talking about it for years and were instead very excited. My mom has even offered to retire, so she can watch the baby and I won't have to pay for childcare. My brother told me that I needed to do it the old fashion way. My response was, so you would be ok if I had a one night stand and got pregnant but not if I plan it and buy the sperm? He had no response to this and even came to my party to pick the donor! He was the only male there! I was very touched that he came. I think he only came for the food but I don't really care he was there!
Understand that there will be those that will disagree with you and there will be those that are very excited for you. try to focus on the positives and talk to them often! Also come here to get support from the great women on this site!
Good Luck!
Robin
I started contemplating being a single mom at 35... took a few more years of dating and not finding Mr. Right for me, then prepared myself physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually and took the plunge at 38. I even dated while trying! Amazingly there were guys I dated who wanted to father my child, but if they weren't the person I wanted to marry, I certainly didn't need to share custody with them, I could buy sperm and not have any hassles.
Well, exactly 6 months ago today I gave birth to my beautiful daughter using donor sperm! I went through 7 IUI's (4 rounds with clomid) and 4 IVF's and finally got pregnant at age 39! My daughters middle name is Faith, because you need alot of it and develop so much of it on this journey.
As far as telling people... my family and friends were extremely supportive, although a few took a little time to get used to the idea. My feeling was that I was choosing my own journey and didn't need someone else's viewpoint on how I should live MY life. I was AMAZED at how supportive people were at my job since I work at a public school! During my pregnancy, so many women came up to me and said things like "My sister should have done what you're doing, instead she's in a horrible marriage, or getting divorced". So many people thought it was a very courageous thing to do.
I've just started to look into dating again... and now there's no pressure! It's great! I could either be with a person who wants kids or not. I'm SOOOO HAPPY!!! I had no idea how fulfilling it would be to have a child.
Wishing you peace and your hearts desire. It's an amazing journey! Cher