When to start being serious about using a donor?

Amirasmommy

I need help deciding if this is right for me and my family. I'm a 31.5 year old single straight woman. I've been married and divorced and my daughter from that relationship will be 4 next week. If I were married now I believe I would have chosen to have a second child by now. I would like to have at least one more child and I would like my daughter to experience having a sibling she grows up with. Her father and his family have little to do with her by their choice...mostly because I insist on supervised visitaton only for reason I will not get into at this time. She has two younger brothers from him but as I mentioned, they rarely see each other. I have been considering this option for about a year and having "jokingly" mentioned it to my mother, sister, and best friend with what appears to be positive feedback. I unfortunately have no strong male role models in my life for my daughter or any subsequent children to benefit from. I have no brothers, my sister is not married, we grow up without our fathers around, and our grandfather died when I was a teenager. But my children will always be surrounded by strong loving women. I have spent nearly my entire life in school. I have a bachelors degree and two masters degrees. I recently graduated and am now working as a healthcare professional. I make about $65,000 a year. My daughter and I live with my mother by choice. Her house is paid for and we are each others support system, as she is also a single woman, and we both are more financially comfortable through sharing expenses. Im not holding my breath that I will ever find Mr. Almost Right and I don't want to wait until it's too late or to put too many years between my children just waiting. There are things I would like to do though. I would like to travel which my daughter is just becoming old enough to do and the thought of putting that off another 5 years is depressing. Plus sometimes I think "are you crazy?". I just finished with diapers and bottles and late night feedings and elaborate car seats. But I do want a second child and I definitely want my daughter to experience the joys and misery...lol...of having a sibling. When do you know the time is right? When do you give up on finding Mr. Right and do it yourself? I'm already a single mom so that will be nothing new. Is it easier for these donor children to have no daddy than the ones of us who's daddies didn't care enough to stay around? Should I wait? Or should I seize the day, carpe diem? I need advice! TIA

jl2011

sine4me

Amirasmommy

OP here...Thanks for all of your help and input. I guess I was less looking for opinion on whether it's right or not and more looking for when do you know the time is right. I believe I got my answer. If I couldn't see my life without a 2nd child then the time is right. I definitely want a 2nd child. Not only because I want to be a mother again but because I want to give my daughter the gift of a sibling. Everyday I get older and conception will become more and more difficult. Everyday my daughter spends one more day without a sibling and has one more day of age difference. I want my children to grow up together...not for them to feel like they are from different generations. I've decided to book a consultation with my doctor to get more information. But I believe this is the right path at the right time for us. I know nothing happens over night but maybe by next Christmas we'll have one more member in our family. Thanks for all of your help!