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Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.

To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!

Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com

Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth

*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*


If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com

Selection strategy suggestions?

AmirasmommyAmirasmommy Senior Member Senior Member
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to choose a donor? I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed! I got the unlimited Access on Friday thinking this would make the process easier and all it did was increase my favorites list from 6-26...nearly eliminating most of my original favs. Any suggestions are appreciated. TIA!

Comments

  • jl2011jl2011 Member Member
    It can be very stressful and time consuming. I got overwhelmed myself. And then, when I chose a donor I just knew it would work...and it didn't. Then after two failed attempts with that donor I switched and had to go back through all my favs and select one more.
    I definitely think you shouldn't look at any adult photos until afterwards. I did look at childhood photos because that made more sense to me to get an idea of what my child may or may not look like. It just put some sort of face to it all.
    I looked at medical history...but I did take into consideration of the ages of the grandparents or great grandparents because I don't know of many perfectly "healthy" 90 year olds.
    I looked at height because I'm 5'9''...I looked at hair, eye color. I looked at it all. But, honestly, in the end...that stuff didn't matter. All that mattered most was medical history and personality. The donors personality traits definitely mattered to me. Also, what the staff said about them mattered to me. It was nice to hear someone else giving you their opinion on them.
    In the end...I chose the one that jumped out at me the most. Also, you can call Fairfax and find out how many reported pregnancies the donor has. The donor I am using now has double the amount of reported pregnancies than the first donor I was using had. Also, I just had my 4th IUI yesterday and the #'s were outstanding. So, if you get a good one stick with him. The first donor I was using...I got a horrible vial from. It was only 3mill. They guarantee 10mill. They were great at giving me a refund though. But, it was just a lot of time, money, emotion, and effort all invested that I lost that month due to the poor sample.

    Hope some of that helps you a little bit!
  • AmirasmommyAmirasmommy Senior Member Senior Member
    Thanks Jl. This is definately a difficult decision. I have a daughter from a previous marriage who just turned 4 today and I would like to have a sibling who at least looks similar to her (coloring). I'm not dead set on this but most everyone in my immediate family is either brown or green eyed with brown hair and my daughter is blond with blue eyes so she already stands out and I don't want her to feel like she doesn't fit. So that is an stressor. Plus she's beautiful and I want my 2nd child to be equally beautiful. I also want a smart child who will excel at academics but I think most of fairfax's donors are at least above average intelligence. That's one thing they need to add is IQ scores...lol...one more factor....lol. I have a crappy family medical history so I need to try to balance that too. Thanks so much for your input!
  • DJ3196DJ3196 Junior Member Junior Member
    Hi!

    I had a tough time with this as well. The only criteria I entered were Caucasian and blue eyes. I just started weeding them out from there. I only looked at those available for IUI and, at first, only looked at those with confirmed pregnancies.

    I also asked a friend to look through my favorites and with her input, I was able to weed a lot more out due to medical issues. Some of my faves had a lot of heart problems or a lot of cancer in the family, both of which can be hereditary. That was something I missed the first time around.

    I finally got them narrowed down to four and now I feel I've got them narrowed down to two: one with confirmed pregnancies and one without.

    It was a great deal more work than I ever imagined it would be!!
  • AmirasmommyAmirasmommy Senior Member Senior Member
    Yeah that's what I'm finding...a lot more time consuming than I ever imagined! But it's a big decision and I want to get it right. There are several things important to me. I definitely want someone with ID options. I feel this is extremely important for me to give my child. I'm willing to compromise on other areas...but not that. Now I'm making charts and grading them on different aspects which are important to me. I'm trying to make one or two off with each additional piece of data. Ugh. I feel like im dating them all...lol This is going to take a while. Good thing I have almost 3 weeks until my first md consult...lol
  • hopefulcharhopefulchar Senior Member Senior Member
    you should also consider the cmv status. If you are negative and the donor is positive there is a chance of your child having birth defects. It sounds to me that your both not willing to compromise on medical profiles and this is something not all doctors bring to your attention. If you are positive it doesnt matter. I of course dont want to scare you but a simple blood test will tell you your cmv status.

    Good luck!
  • AmirasmommyAmirasmommy Senior Member Senior Member
    Yeah I know...I'm A+. My mom keeps going on and on about this... She's worried If I conceived a girl with someone with negative blood type then that girl would have a chance of being negative and she would then have risky pregnancies. I can't think that far ahead...lol. But this is a serious concern if you're negative.
  • hopefulcharhopefulchar Senior Member Senior Member
    you are talking about your blood type which is your rh factor. If you are negative blood type (which i am) you just have to take a shot to have a sucessful pregnancy if the donor is rh positive.

    I am referring to CMV status. This is some kind of a virus that if you are negative (i also am) and you choose donor that is CMV positive your child has the risk of having birth defects. It is pretty serious stuff. I would recommend finding out from your doctor if you are cmv negative or positive.
  • AmirasmommyAmirasmommy Senior Member Senior Member
    Oh...got ya! Sorry I was confused. I'll check on that. Thanks!
  • hopefulcharhopefulchar Senior Member Senior Member
    No worries. Good luck :D
  • DJ3196DJ3196 Junior Member Junior Member
    I was told by my RE that if the IgG was positive and the IgM was negative, it would be fine because I am negative / negative.

    IgG positive means they were exposed to the respiratory virus at one time and their body has developed antibodies as a result. IgM positive means they are currently exposed. If I were IgG positive, then I would have to be more concerned and they would advise me to find a donor who was negative / negative.

    For the Rh-factor, my blood type is A- and all of my favorites donors have a positive blood type. So I will need one shot at some point in my pregnancy. This is not the great concern it was years ago, apparently.
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