bad day

howdy

so I could've sworn that i was getting pregnancy signs. I had the cramps, the sore boobs, the fatigue, hunger, etc.

But nope.. got my BFN today and that bitch ( pardon my language) showed up right now. so yup.. my second IUI failed. I am so heartbroken. I want to just cry my eyes out but I can't! I'm at work and I still have 2 hrs left!! ugh. Anywho... we didn't order anymore vials so I'm nervous of how I'm gunna do it for this round. I would have to call within the next few days to have them shipped to me.

Now im wondering.. should I keep going with the same donor or move to a new one?? so many thoughts. I feel like breaking down. right now.

roby72

Don't be so discouraged, it is only your second try...remember for every try there is only 15% chance that the conception will be a successful implantation. I tried 4 times before actually have a good embrio to stick, every time the signs were very similar. I think the conception occurs, but mother nature takes a huge role in determine if the embrio is worth to stick or not, so sometimes it is always for the best. I did 2 IUI in the fall, natural cycles, all perfect...nothing. Then took a break due to lots of teaching, tried again in May, IUI natural cycle, nothing, then clomid first time in June and there it was when the good egg was released with most likely a healthy baby.
Mother nature will discard all the defected embrios, so this is why is so much better this way than have a later miscarriage

Don't be afrain to try again, just don't think about it too much, sooner or later, I know and I am sure it will work...it takes patience, positivity and lots of determination...everything is possible, just picture every day that baby in your arm, talk to him/her and I am sure when they are ready they will come to you!

Take care,

Roberta

hopefulchar

Howdy...take a deep breath and remember this will happen for you but it takes the average healthy woman 4-6 tries to be successful with this. Even though we all are told this over and over it is heartbreaking when AF comes. I am not sure if you are doing a trigger shot or not but i have been told that the shot will give the exact same symptoms as a pregnancy...CRUEL i know but this is the path we are all on to get what we want. Just remember how lucky we all are that we are able to have this option and how amazing science is.

Cry your eyes out when you get home tonight and then pick yourself up tomorrow and get your head back in the game. A positive attitude will go a long way in this journey. Enjoy your life in the meantime and try not to let a BFP or a BPN determine your happiness in life. You will drive yourself crazy like I did the first 3 months trying if you think about this every second of the day. Grab a drink with your girlfriends this week, go see a movie that you have been dying to see. Connect with friends and family that you have been neglecting and get your head together.

Good luck and I am always here if you need to vent.

Charlotte

robin

Howdy,
I am so sorry for your BFN . We have all been there and thought that all the signs were there only to have the test read negative and then to hope that the test was wrong and to have it confirmed when AF arrives. I know how difficult it is to go to work after that news, however you made it through yesterday! I agree with Charlotte, go do something with loved ones. Take a deep breath and focus on you for a little bit. Sometimes I think during this journey we stop thinking about ourselves and taking care of ourselves mentally because we are focused on the baby so much! I know I am guily of this fact. Remember we are all here for you and understand completely what you are going through. This will happen for all of us!

Robin

jl2011

Howdy,

I totally understand. I too recently found out my 4th IUI wasn't successful. I had amazing counts last time and it just seemed like it couldn't NOT work this time and this was it. But, my body had other plans. It is ok to cry. I had to take a little time and allow myself to grieve. Today I'm off and I'm taking myself to the movies and I'm going to get myself a pedicure and just have a ME day. Just keep the faith that this will work for you. It will work for all of us. It just isn't happening the way we want it because if it were up to us we wouldn't even be in this position anyway. It would have worked with our husbands that can't have children...or our prince charming that never showed up...or whatever our circumstances might be. Or...it would have just worked for us on our first IUI attempt. But, everything happens in its own time. And eventually we will get those positive results.
I have to have a laparoscopy this month. My doctor thinks there may be a problem that we were unaware of and if it is endometriosis or anything like that he will laser it off. The good news is women have this procedure done and are extremely fertile after it and conceive pretty quickly. So, hopefully it isn't anything too bad and he can address it with this procedure and I'll have better chances. It is just frustrating to find out they think there is a problem after trying four IUI's and thinking I had a shot ya know?
Good luck ladies! Hang in there!

howdy

Thank you everyone for the wonderful words!! I did go home and cry it out and was just sad and yesterday I was a little better. Today.. im a whole lot better. I know things happen for a reason and I have to understand that it just wasn't my time. Then I think about what if I would've gotten pregnant but then would've had a miscarriage. ahhhh.. so yea.. for some reason, this time didn't work out. But I have to keep my faith and positivity.

I just have doubts about whether to go ahead an order the same donor or not. My gut tells me to keep going with this donor. ugh.. i wish vials weren't so darn expensive. But then again.. my husband says to me "don't worry about it. we WILL find a way to get another vial.. and another.. and another.. and another if we need to." I wish there would be a report from teh surgery and it say " reasons why it did NOT work this time..." and then it lists the reasons and u can work on those reasons so that next time it DOES WORK! how cool would that be??

Somewhere online (i know.. i need to stop google-ing soooo much!! it's a sickness!) i read that each time you do an IUI, the success rate goes higher and higher. I HOPE SO!!! I am more determined now than ever. I tried my first meditation session in the comfort of my own home and let me tell ya.. i slept amazing last night and really helped me relax. Maybe that's what I need. To relax. < sigh>

anywho.. thanks again everyone. If there are any pointers, questions, or whatever, please tell me! i enjoy reading yalls comments. I have a blog journal and hardly get on this forum. ive noticed not alot of people reply or keep up with updates but they do read the posts. So i come in here from time to time and look for any positive news or catch up on people. if you have a blog, please message me and i would love to follow you.

have a great day everyone.. and you infertility... YOU SUCK!

- diana