Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Excited but scared
wannabemama
Junior Member
I have made the decision to be a single mother by choice! I am 29 and hoping to begin my journey to motherhood next summer after my 30th birthday. I am so excited, anxious,giddy, and terrified all at the same time :shock: , and I have so many questions. I have already selected the fertility clinic I want to use and will make my first appt. sometime next year. The questions I have are how early should I have my first consultation? What are the first try success rates? Are fertility treatments always neccesary? I have an appt. with my OBGYN on the 16th to talk to her and just make sure that my parts are in working order. My fear is that because I want this so badly that it won't happen. I am also worried about the reaction from my extended family as they are some what judgemental people. Although I have the full support of my mother, father, sister, and close friends! Actually the idea of IUI came from my mom. I have done a lot of research on this but still have questions and woud be so grateful to hear from women who have been there. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Comments
I will be starting my 1st IUI the end of January, I went ahead and did all of my testing with my doctor this summer. I had the blood work done that you need for genetic testing and to determine a donor match, the ultrasounds and the HSG just to make sure everything looked fine before spending so much money (and emotion) on the first AI attempts. I also went with a reproductive endocrinologist rather than my OBGYN, because that is there specialty and have more knowledge and success with getting people pregnant, at least that is my opinion on my research. Doing all of this testing and information gathering early, i think helps you prepare for everything yet to come. It seems to be a constant learning curve, so the earlier you can begin preparing for your particular plan, the better.
There are so many factors in getting pregnant on the first try. Obviously timing is a factor, the donor sperm and whether it does it's "job", whether you ovulate or not, whether you do have any "fertility" issues or not, etc etc etc. I'm noticing that a lot of the women on this site either have had some kind of fertility drug (clomid or others) to help with getting pregnant and others that didn't have moved on to include them. I think age seems to be a factor in that too, but it's up to you and your doctor to decide whats best for you. I know my doctor mentioned that because I'm 36, that we will likely do some clomid to "help".
Hope that helps, it's just my 2 cents from all the research I've been doing. There are many more knowledgeable women on this site that I'm sure will share their thoughts and experiences as well.
Good luck!
Polyps that you had removed should not cause a problem. I would not worry about that. Don't think that it won't happen just remind yourself that it might not happen the first time.each time you go in for the iui you need to have the attitude that it is going to happen this time! Keep a positive attitude imagine the baby in your arms and enjoy the roller coaster ride of emotions! Some of them suck that is for sure but some of them are great like thinking for two weeks that you are in fact pregnant.....that is great! The bfn's those suck but when you get that bfp it will erase all of thos bfn's.
Good luck!
Robin
only thing i struggle with is not being able to tell child about the dad. wish i could find an ex bf or a friend that would help me out and sign over rights, at least then i could provide pics or funny stories. as a psychologist, i cant help but think about personality and temperment and how u just dont get that from online profiles... sometimes u can date someone for months before u notice that stuff..... my only nervousness.... ppl dont have to answer honestly, id like mental health history and temperment of donor, and grandparents... doesnt seem that information is provided... does anyone struggle with anxiety, adhd, depression, ocd tendencies, anger etc... and how do we know whats true.....i think about online dating and how things can sound great, pics are great, phone conversations are great and then bust... lol, i dont know,.. at the end of the day a baby is what i want, but i also want a good temperment- and i guess that gets into the whole nature/nuture debate......not sure i could do this more than 3 times.... not sure if i should order different vials or stick with same..... and if order all at once, seems wasteful of money if the first one takes.... who knows.... all a gamble.... good luck to all.....im hoping to try my first insemination mid november........
Fairfax gives you lots of information. Have you ordered the 3 month unlimited access? You get med history and educational background back to grandparents. Can you be sure that it is all accurate? No but when dating someone do you know that all they are telling you is accurate? What if you were to date someone that was in foster care when they were younger, they might not know as much information as you are getting from fairfax. They do tell you if there are any meds that they take on a regular basis, that can give you an idea if there are issues. On some of the medical profiles it talks about substance abuse, if they are being honest about a family history with that then I think they would be honest about adhd. I have not gone with a few that I originally considered bc of the substance abuse issue.
You can also opt to go with a donor that has an id option or one that has lifetime pics so you can have pictures. They also have a personality inventory that you can purchase to help you find out a little more about temperment.
I understand your concerns, we all have them. Somehow I think we are all in some way guided to the donor we should choose and if its not the right one it won't work.
I am a counselor and I too have thought about what to say. There are a lot of good books out there to help you explain it to your child. Me I plan on being honest from the beginning. There are even books to help with that! Childrens books to help explain it to the child. That will be our nightly ritual. I think it might be harder if the child knew the donor and then found out they did not want to be in their life, it might make it feel more like abandonment. With donor sperm that is not an issue. You never knew the man and he just decided to help families have children that couldn,t he made a gift to the world and to you!
Each time I purchased sperm I purchased 2 vials. After the first two unsuccessful tries the first donor I picked was no longer available. When I went back to choose again I found a new donor that honestly I felt connected to from the moment I read his profile. While my third iui wasunsuccessful I intend to use this donor for my fourth iui and plan on doing back to back iui's. I have a good felling about this donor but we will see!
These are just my thoughts! I wish you well....you can find lots of support on this forum from great women! Oh and if you haven't checed out past forums you might want to look and the one on books.
Just a question.....when you send the clinics you went to said they would only do 2 iui's does that mean that if after 2 you are not pregnant they will not treat you? The average number is 4-6 times
Some women get lucky and it happens the first time, others of us have to try several times.the success rate for iui's is only about 25% the same success rate for couples trying on their own. I know that sounds crazy since there is a lot more science involved with the iui but I guess it still involves some magic that can't be explained by science!
Good luck to you, sending you lots of baby dust!
Robin