"where is my daddy" ?

redolfin26

our daughter will be 3 soon so her recognition of family dynamics is expanding...her interactive play is including talk of daddy, mommy etc...so far, she has not asked us "where is my daddy" or anything close but shes a whipper snapper and i feel it coming soon...very soon...i was wondering how other same sex parents handled this question...here is what i know so far...i dont want to tell her she doesnt have one because well, thats not entirely true...if she asks 'the question' i am so far planning on just saying "you have 2 mommies'...i know my girl and i dont think that will be the end...i think she will take it one step further and ask about her daddy...i dont want to tell any untruths or any fairly tale ideas...as a side note, the donor we picked is part of the ID options program so hopefully one day she will meet him if she desires...
ideas? thoughts? thanks!!!!!!

Amirasmommy

I have a very inquisitive 4 year old. I'm having to answer a million questions right now to prepare her for my donor insemination as a single woman. I've found that honesty, using age appropriate content and words, works best. I've explained the process of conception...minus the sex part...in other words the part she needs to understand for the process I'll be going through. We've also discussed birth and watched some birth videos...which she completely fascinated by. She found a pregnant...yes pregnant, barbie at Toy R Us tonight and just had to get it. It tok me about 5 minutes to realize that it had a baby bump which opened and a removable newborn inside. I was shocked but got it anyways...lol. If you're like me with a very smart kid you need to be honest and have faith that they can handle the truth...because they can! I too am using an ID donor so I plan to have the truth known from the beginning....obviously my older daughter will already know since she's living this process with me. So honesty will be essential. Good luck!

sneakyjean

My daughter is six and has also been full of questions for a couple of years now. I have found that it's best to answer just the specific question she is asking, otherwise I run the risk of giving her more information than she is ready to process. So far I have answered her questions with answers like, "You have two mommies", "you don't have a daddy", and "there are all different kinds of families". We haven't discussed "how babies are made" yet because she hasn't asked specifically, but I found a couple of age appropriate books and am ready for her when she does. I'm sure that's coming any day now. When she does ask, I will give her an honest answer, but again, only as much detail as she needs to be satisfied with the answer. It is a little stressful to know that you have to give the details one day, and not know when that day is going to be, but if I've learned anything from my kids it's that things have to happen at their pace. You'll do fine!

heidibee

My son will be three soon and has not really questioned it yet but while he knows he has two Moms, he once called his Mama his daddy! I don't think he has the whole gender role thing figured out yet anyway. We plan to go the route of there are lots of different combinations that make up families and we have the kind with two mommies. Thankfully we have friends that match a lot of those kinds, two moms, two dads, mom and dad, blended familes, just a mom and just a dad that we can point to as examples. Familes are made, not born and I know all of our children conceived this way will always know they were conceived with all the love we can give them! They are not happy little accidents from sperm gone awry, not that there is anything wrong with that way too!