Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Words of wisdom??
bweaver
Junior Member Junior Member
Hi there, I am new to this two. I'm 37 spent way to long with the prospect (my exhusband) and the last couple years of dating just hasnt been hopefull. I just know the one thing I was born to do was be a mommy, before I even knew about boys I knew about babies. My immediate family has been great -except 1 important person, my Dad - he's not speaking to me- he sees my actions as selfish , me saying I didnt' need a father and HE wasn't important to me. It has nothing to do with him , I'm sure you all know. But he's actually been a little more hurtful than I thought it would be. Could be I'm overly anxious and sensitive (I'm nearing the end of my 2WW on my 2nd cycle) I know there is a world of opinions out there, and most I wouldn't care about- but my DAD? Any advice?
Becky
Becky
Comments
The only thing I can think of is continuing to tell him that you love him, you want him to be involved in the child's life and that he raised you with good values that you want to share with your child. Hopefully he will come around.
My dad was the one person that wasn't supportive. I went and sat down with him and cried to him and just explained that I am ready to be a mommy and start my own little family. I explained that it wasn't that I didn't "need" a father for my child or that my child didn't "need" a father. It was just that this is the hand I have been dealt right now and I don't want to wait around and never get my chance. I'd rather do it now rather than live in regret and look back one day and think about what could have been. He still thought I should wait. He didn't have a father growing up so he has mixed feelings about it.
But, after crying to him and begging him to understand and giving him some time. My mom has also worked on him a little. She explained to him that I am their daughter and she will support me no matter what I choose in life because it is her job as my mother. She also reminded him of the woman I have grown to be with their guidance and she trusts that I won't make a mistake. And, she asked him how he would feel if I had come to their house and announced that I was pregnant with a random guys baby that I met out one night and just got knocked up. She wanted him to understand and respect me for going about it the way I am.
All that being said...he has since come around. I had my 5th IUI last Wednesday and my mom went with me. My dad called to check on me (he acts like it is a surgery lol). He loves me. Just like your dad loves you. Give it time...he will come around. But, be honest with him from day one. I don't know if your mom is around or what that situation is like. But, maybe she can help you out. If not, just keep talking to him and be honest with him about your feelings. It will get better. I promise.
I actually chose ahead of time NOT to tell my Dad because I knew he'd have trouble being supportive. It's a little rough - particularly on my sister and step-mother (who both know), but they're respecting my choice and we're all hoping that once I conceive and he sees the baby that he'll come around.
To the one whose Mom keeps being mistaken for her "life-partner" - don't feel too badly.... It's even worse when it's your step-father! Sheesh....squick in so many ways!
Good luck to both of you!
For me, like others have stated, it is important to me to not just go have a random one night stand (and not know what you're really getting) or settle for someone just to have a kid and be tied to that person for the rest of your life just for sperm. I know of plenty of women that did that and none of them stayed with the other person and they're all miserable with their situations. I'm sure none of us grew up as a child and said "i want to be a single mom and use donor sperm!!
Good luck with your dad and i'm sure he'll come around.
Who knows, once she sees your precious little one, she may come around. Yes, I can't imagine losing a friend over this process, but you have to do what is right for you.
Big hugs and know you have lots of friends here
Dreams- If your friend is going to ditch you because she can't deal with you taking charge of your life and making one of your dreams come true, maybe she's not really a "friend," after all? I actually got dumped by my BFF nearly 3 years ago (not fertility-related) and I felt really awful at first, then I looked at the other friends I still had and realized she was never the kind of friend to me that they were... In the end, she actually did me a favour
I realize your friend is very important to you, but if she really loves you, she would want you to be happy. If you have always dreamed of having kids and truly feel you are meant to be a mother, she will eventually understand. If you wait for the right guy and the ample bank balance, you might wait too long. You have a limited number of eggs. Just do it. Your friend will understand once she sees the happiness in your eyes. And if she doesn't, at least you will will be happy.