Feeling depressed

k&b

How do you all deal with the depression that can go along with all of this?
In the beginning, when I found out my (at the time bf) could not have children, I cried a lot. But it has been 7 years since that diagnosis, 5 years of marriage, and a lot of learning and growing together.
We started the IUI journey in May, with our first actual IUI in November. IUI #3 is Wednesday. I found that in month 1, I was super nervous, and in round two I had high hopes. This round, I am just sad, and we haven't even had the IUI yet...I am sure this is hormones talking, but I just find myself tired of all of this. Tired of the meds, of the hot flashes, of the disappointment. And the thing is, I know that likely it will be going on a bit longer. I want a baby, I want to add to our family, I want to be a mom...but I don't want to be sad.... I need some success stories, something to boost me up!
Thanks for letting me vent...
K

hopefulchar

Speaking for only myself I have had moments of feeling scared or down but I don't think I have ever felt depressed. I strongly believe that I will be a mother and will soon be pregnant. I have always believed that. I do t yet have the secret recipe that tells you how to get pregnant but I promise I will pass it on when I get it. In the meantime I encourage you to switch your current mindset. Not everything in life needs to be centered around fertility. Enjoy what you do have. A great career a loving husband, great family and friends and most importantly your health. Every day you spend feeling sorry for yourself is a day in your life you can never get back. Life is so short and you will have the rest of your life to dedicate to your children. In the meantime be selfish, do things you will not be able to do when your finally blessed with your first child!!

Believe me I could be throwing a pitty party for myself right now. I have done 9 failed iuis, but I strongly believe in the power of positive thoughts. Please follow me. And it will get better!

So cheer up. And know I am here if you need anything

k&b

Thanks Char. You are right, I do have many more things in my life other than fertility to think about!
And a good life it is.
I gave myself the Ovidrel shot tonight, and it was actually relieving. I laugh when I am nervous, so laughed till I cried before I put the needle in! It was a great stress relief, and the shot was no biggie. I'm feeling better now.... Onwards and upwards!

TwinsMommy

I am really repling to this becuase I smiled when I read the you laugh when your nervouse and it touched me. I remeber the all the 'laughing' shots and all the sad faces from nurses or doctors when they had bad news. I still remeber the day my doctor told me that there was no other way but to do IVF. I cried for days. How could we afford it? Could my heart afford not to try? And what if IT didn't work either? Don't give up!!! Have hope!!! I am telling you, I was completely in your shoes. The day I gave myself my last shot, we where on a rafting trip because I was an emotional basketcase and my partner need to get me away from it all. We had twins 9 months later. Sometimes you just have to give it up to FAITH. Easier said than done. Good luck with everything!!! It will find a way, it always does. Someway or another.

k&b

Thank you!!

Pixelpie

Hope you're feeling better today! I really think the roller coaster is the worst part. I try to be optimistic but with each failure and set back it gets harder and harder. I thought the 2ww was bad...since apparently I don't always ovulate even when medicated now I get to worry if I'm going to ovulate too. *sigh*

When I get depressed I try to count my blessings. I read other peoples success stories and think if it can happen to them.... why not me!! and ultimately...I know in the end it will be worth it... but this part... it sucks ass.

Hoping your feel better and thinking good baby dust thoughts for you! (and everyone else too)

P.S. I'm in Texas too. Howdy!

k&b

Thanks Pixelpie...I am doing a bit better today. I had my IUI this morning, and I am, as always, hopeful!
So....2ww!!
p.s. Howdy

robin

Pixiepie,
I understand the nervousness about will I ovulate this month! For me even on 450units of gonal f I did not always ovulate. I was lucky to get one follicle and never got more. I just knew that I was supposed to be a mom just did not know when it would happen. The worst month for me was the 2nd month I did not ovulate. I gave myself permission to cry for a night and then went back to positive thoughts the next day. I am a firm believer in replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. It just has to be our time. It takes longer for some then others.

I started this journey last feb. After I months and 4 iuis I am now 15 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I am due july 4th. Keep the faith and keep your thoughts positive.

K&b,
Know that tthis will happen for you! It sounds like you are in a positive place again!
Sending lots of baby dust your way for a positive this round!

GeminiJai

K&B- My Mom is a fertility nurse and she's tried as best as she can to prepare me for several rounds of IUI's... She wants me to remain positive while also being realistic. Of course, like all of us, I'm hoping that I'll have Beginner's Luck -- but I take solace in one thing that she's said from Day One: "You want the best sperm to pair with the best egg. You wouldn't want anything else." And I just happened to find this image while browsing online the other day, which reinforced that belief for me, so I wanted to share it with you. It WILL happen for all of us, when we're ready and it's time

k&b

Love that quote! I am 6 dpiui for round 3. No symptoms yet, but its still early, there is still hope!

GeminiJai

Since AF decided to rear her ugly head yesterday morning and dash my dreams of "Beginners Luck," I just had to come back and look at this post again today... Needed a little reminder that it'll happen when it's supposed to happen. I **really** wanted an October baby- although November works, too. Now I truly understand how difficult it is NOT to get discouraged. My heart goes out to all of us, who are still waiting and hoping for our BFP.

Uclagirl24

I am sorry that you went through feeling depressed and all those negative feelings. I can totally relate because i felt down many times. i have been dreaming of becoming a mother for so long. After 5 years of marriage and TTC, my husband and i have decided to use donor sperm. I just wanted to let you know that I am so happy for you after finding out that you probably have two children now becayse your dream came true. I see that took 6 iuis the first time and 2 iuis the second time, but it worked! It gives me hope at the time when I don't have much hope left. Thank you for posting this update, letting us know that IUI worked for you. Hope you are doing well and many blessings to you and your family.