And the fear hits...

kjohnsto

Has anyone else had fear set in? I received a letter from my fertility clinic this week saying that my vial of semen has arrived at their facility. Although I've put much thought into my decision to try having a baby on my own, the reality of me "using" a stranger's sperm has hit me. It all of a sudden feels scary. Maybe in part because my guy friend (who has had a vasectomy, supports my decision, and I love dearly) is not the person participating in this emotional, life changing, heart felt event in my life. I know this is the route I need to take, if I want to realize my dream of having a baby. I'm still following through with my plans, but now that the time is near, I have unexpected emotions coming into play. I've also been reading up a little on religious views on this topic. I don't agree with a lot of what I've read, but am also wondering how Christianity plays into this process.

Any thoughts?

sine4me

kjohnsto,

I can understand where you're coming from, this is a very unnatural process. At least that is what a friend of mine that went through IUI and IVF with her husband and I (single) think. I can't say that I was scared, at least not overly so when the RE office called to let me know that biodad arrived safely . It was more a rush of "holy crap" and giddiness. I was anxious, excited, a little scared in there, but the excitement outweighed the fear.

I think as long as you're sure that this is the journey you want to take, that fear should turn into more excitement. I would say that if it doesn't, maybe it's something that you need to think about more, or research or prepare for?

Just my two cents, hope it helps.

kjohnsto

I think the fact that the letter sounded so "institutional" rather than personal, encouraging, and happy just threw me off. Felt about as personal as an engine part arriving at the garage safely and they're ready for me to bring my car in. LOL Don't get me wrong...my fertility clinic is great and really do focus on women/families and making dreams become reality. They do, however, need to revise their standard letter verbiage perhaps. I'm about 10 days away from getting my IUI and just need to focus on my (hopefully our) future. This ride certainly is a roller coaster though....so many things to consider, contemplate, and hope for.