ID Option Donors

kmo1039

Hello,
My name is Katie and I'm 34 and am just getting started with my first IUI. I will be headed into motherhood (hopefully) as a single mother. I'd love some insight from anyone out there about their thoughts about going the route of having a child be able to contact the donor when they turn 18. I'm on the fence. Thoughts?

GeminiJai

Welcome, Katie! I will be 33yrs old next month and am also going the route of single motherhood. When I first started researching donors, I was hesitant about choosing an ID Options donor but, in the end, I decided there was no way I could choose a donor who wasn't ID Option... What it came down to for me, personally, was the fact that I didn't want to take my child's voice/right away, should s/he want to know who their biological father was and where half of them came from. I wish you all the best of luck, no matter which donor your choose!

Barbra

hi, I'm a single mom of a 22 month old daughter and the donor I decided on is not an ID donor. I would have liked one but it just didn't turn out that way. when my daughter was a few months old my mom had said, wow look at what the "other grandparents" are missing out on. when I was growing up my father had no contact with us (until I found him and called him when I was 36) so that played such a part in my decision to have my daughter using a donor. I didn't want her to always be wondering, but you know, these days there are so many single moms by choice that when she is18 it might just be a very common thing. I think that it is great that the donor would like the kids to have that option. I feel the donors are great guys to do this. I would have liked my daughter to be able to contact just to say thank you!

all4mybaby

Hi kmo1039,
Welcome to the forum! This truly is a great place to be because the women are awesome with giving advice.

I will be a single mother by choice and have decided to use an ID donor for my light. I have the same sentiments as Jaime in that I want my little one to have the choice as to whether they want to know where they come from. Wanting to know this information doesn't necessarily mean wanting a relationship with the donor. To me it means that the option of learning about who they are is available if my child is interested in knowing.
Pauline

lucyemma85

I posted this last week??? But for some reason it didn't post.

Anyway! Kmo1039, I have also chosen to have an ID donor. My feelings are also the same as Jamie and all4mybaby. Also, prior to my choice I purchased both the childhood and adult photos - for my own benefit, but also for my child. So they can put a face with their biological father. Then I though, what would it be like having a face with no name? So I decided to do the ID option. That way if they ever WANT to, they can put a name with the face. I also plan on purchase the full profile and audio clips so they will have that as well.

I'm sure you will make the right choice for yourself either way!! Good luck in your search!!

MariaCarolina

Just to add to this, I purchased everything possible from the donor, including a voice recording and photos as a child and adult. I feel the child should have the option to have as much info as possible of the donor, and that not choosing an ID donor is something that I might never be forgiven for.