Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
bad day
sine4me
Senior Member Senior Member
I'm not big on sharing my feelings much and though i've posted a few times, I think i'm more like some others that read everyone else's postings and relate with most of them.
But today, i'm just having a really bad day and I don't know how to get past it. I've had 4 failed IUI's now and the 5th is scheduled for next week. Before I was able to take a day or two and be sad then move forward being positive that it would work the next time. I can't there or in that mindset this time. I know i don't have much to complain about, there are women in here that have certainly gone through this process many more times and for much longer than I have, but i'm looking for some insight on how to be positive again. I know some will say that it's all worth it when you get that BFP, and I get that, but i haven't yet and I want to know what to do now.
My friends and family are wonderful and try to understand, but as you all know, until you go through this you just can't.
Anyway, i'm done griping, thanks for listening.
But today, i'm just having a really bad day and I don't know how to get past it. I've had 4 failed IUI's now and the 5th is scheduled for next week. Before I was able to take a day or two and be sad then move forward being positive that it would work the next time. I can't there or in that mindset this time. I know i don't have much to complain about, there are women in here that have certainly gone through this process many more times and for much longer than I have, but i'm looking for some insight on how to be positive again. I know some will say that it's all worth it when you get that BFP, and I get that, but i haven't yet and I want to know what to do now.
My friends and family are wonderful and try to understand, but as you all know, until you go through this you just can't.
Anyway, i'm done griping, thanks for listening.
Comments
I'm here if you need any advise.
It will happen when it is meant to. My baby is due on christmas day and my 3 day transfer was on good Friday. My prayers were definaey awnesered. It was a miracle. Yours is coming too. Just stay strong!!
If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you and you're welcome to send me a PM. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope we both get to a happier place soon!! {{HUGS}}
Just know that we have all been through similar challenges. Some of us were luck to finally see that BFP only to have it end abruptly with a loss. Others have finally seen success and are still in disbelief :-) Only you will know when you've had enough and either want to give up or try a different approach. For me the different option was to realize that after 6 or 7 IUI's it still didn't happen, so I wanted to try the most aggressive option as my last chance. Well it really isn't a last chance because now I'm on to the frozen embryo transfer since my fresh cycle ended in a chemical pregnancy. Again you will have to do quite a bit of soul searching and figure out how far you are willing to go. Many women opt to go straight for the big guns from the start with IVF. I didn't even consider that because I just knew IUI would work!! I didn't realize that the success rate for older women is extremely low (much less than 20%) Hindsight is 20/20. Wish I could go back to Nov 2010 and start again!!
I hope that you can determine the best path for this journey. Feel free to contact me if you need to chat.
Moe
Jaime, I can completely relate with you. I haven't had the huge mood swings that a lot of women have, but i can completely relate with the weight gain. I feel like a whale already and I don't even have a pregnancy to show for it, which will only make me bigger. I also "supposedly" don't have any medical reason why this isn't working. I've had the testing and have no apparent reason I'm not getting pregnant. My cycles have been good, i've produced good sized follicles and at least 4 follicles each cycle, my donor has had great numbers and motility.....but nothing.
ok, I think I'm done with my whining, thank you all for letting me vent and for the insight you have provided. I know it will happen when it's meant to, but I just wish (as everyone else) that it would happen sooner than later. I'd like to have my sanity and some money to buy diapers when I actually do get pregnant lol
I too am one of those that reads often (thanks hopfulchar, moewhit, and others) so I can totally sympathize, it took me 20 minutes just to log into the new forum so I could respond!
I have been trying for what seems like years, 3 unmedicated iui's in 2010, 4 medicated iuis in 2011, and getting ready to try one round of minimal stim IVF soon.
Some days are worse than others but it is hard to be working on such a life changing thing that just never seems to work.
The only thing that ever makes me feel any better is reading the ever positive posts from all of you! So thank you to you all for helping me not feel like I am the only one
Doing much better today thanks! This round for some reason has been an emotional one, I'm still not in a very "positive" state and my IUI is scheduled for Friday morning. c'est la vie
I have to agree with you, coming in here (to the site) and reading up on the good and not so good news that everyone shares helps knowing that I'm not alone in this journey and that I haven't gone through yet what so many others have. The knowledge, experience and sincerity that everyone shares is a great help.
Please let us know how your mini-ivf goes. I've started looking into that more since it can be half the price of regular IVF and so much less strain on your body! I'm very interested in knowing more about it.
Sometimes it is hard to stay positive. Its hard to give you advice on how to do that bc it is different for each person. Sometimes it helps to take time off to do other things. For me I didn't have a choice I only produced a follicle every other month. Looking back..... GOD knew what I needed. While that month off was disappointing it also gave me time to focus on other things. For me church was a comfort and so was lighting a candle in front of saint anthony the patron saint that helps you find things and was a doctor. Each bfn hurt but each time I doubted something I would change that negative thought into a positive one and visualize myself pregnant. I would talk to my ovary while taking the meds and before each iui. I named the follicle so I felt a connection and talked to it during the 2 weeks. I know sounds crazy but its just what worked for me and helped me stay positive. I started acupuncture and read the infertility cure and changed my eating habits and felt really good and lost some weight. The next month I was pregnant
.
Believe me I never visualized myself as big as I truly am! My little boy is due july 4th and I couldn't be happier. I can say it will happen for you and have patience but that doesn't help change your thoughts. I have learned during this journey we need to utilize self care! Something we need to continue during pregnancy and into motherhood. We need to learn what coping skills work best for us so we can practice. I know having a pedicure or massage helps. I learned all this while pregnant but it is things I need to continue. We also have to allow ourselves to grieve..... its understandable and natural. We are human. By admitting your emotions and owning them you are one step closer to being able to change them. Our thoughts truly do have an impact on our emotions. By changing our thboughts we will eventually change the feeling. So what thought keeps running through your head? What can you do to make it positive? These are just some of the things that I have done and still do. I hope you are able to find what skill works for you. Talking about it helps as well. I know sometimes its difficult to share emotions. Be proud of yourself that you shared on here! What strength and courage that took! You have the strength and courage inside you to change this mood around as well!
Good luck on Friday and lots of sticky baby dust!
Robin