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Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.

To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!

Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com

Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth

*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*


If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com

Help...Please

Just_MeJust_Me Junior Member Junior Member
Hello everyone! I hope you ladies are doing well. As the title states I am in need of help. I have a donor in mind that I am sure that I will use at the moment it's just a matter of going to see my doctor to find out how things are going to work around the time I would like to inseminate. I am looking to do my first insemination by February. Right now I am nervous, anxious and just plain scared. The main thing I am concerned about is the insemination not taking the first time. Just knowing of the possibilities of having to try more than 2x makes me a little nervous and stressed out. Did any of you ladies feel this way? If so how did you get past feeling nervous? Also how did your family react to you all making the choice to become a single mother by choice? So far quite a few of my family members have been very supportive. My mother on the other hand still hates the idea but likes the fact that at the end of everything she will be a grandmother. Oh..one last thing for what it's worth I am almost 29 years old and currently have no children.

Thank you all in advance for your help.

Comments

  • Anne72Anne72 Senior Member Senior Member
    I know it's not easy but the number one thing is to try to calm down. Stress doesn't help!

    It took me 13 tries (11 IUI and 2 IVF) . But then, I'm 40. 29, assuming you have no other issues, is pretty young and *should* be easier for you. A good piece of advice that I got from a friend who took 4 years to have a successful pregnancy was "try to enjoy it and just think of the story you can tell you child about how very very much they were wanted". Yes, it is scary. But try to look at it as a roller coaster and just another life experience.

    Oh, and not to terrify you more, but the ride doesn't stop when you get pregnant. I'm 20 weeks today and have been on bed rest for 50% of the pregnancy. I just pray every day to make it full term.

    It's great that your family is supportive and I'm sure your mom will come around.
  • tal970tal970 Member Member
    You just have to take it one month at a time. One failed attempt won't be the end of the world and you shouldn't get too upset if you don't get pregnant on the first time. A first failed attempt can be devasting and depressing. You need to have a support group to help you remember to stay optimistic. Your younge age increases the probablity for you to conceive. I agree with Ann72 and think you mom will come around. She probably just needs time to let it set in.
  • RosieTheRiveterRosieTheRiveter Junior Member Junior Member
    Hi there!

    I agree with the others. I am in the same boat as you. I am currently 28 and getting ready for my first IUI. I have basically decided to take them as they come. I bought my vials in bulk to take advantage of the available discount and free storage. I decided that if I have four IUIs and they are not successful, I will move on to IVF at a later date. If I do get lucky (!) and have a pregnancy, I will save the extras for siblings later on, should I decide to have them.

    Based on what I just wrote, it may seem that I am completely calm and in control. I AM NOT!!!! Even though I have mapped out a plan, I am freaking out on a daily basis. I think of my previous miscarriage. I think of my mother's difficulties carrying children to term. It seems like the odds are against me and I haven't even started "trying." What has helped me is reaching out to other people. I have been working with a doctor since this summer, I have a counselor, and I have friends and family who are supportive. Unfortunately, like you, my mother isn't on board. Scratch that. I haven't told her. It kills me because she could be the one to provide me with the information I need to get pregnant and carry the baby to term, or at least to viability. But I don't see her being supportive. So, I try to focus on the people who ARE on board. My advice is to build the best support network you can. That way, you know who's got your back, no matter what happens. All the best, and let us know how it goes.
  • krisann17krisann17 Junior Member Junior Member
    I am 31 and just found out I am pregnant after 5 IUI's. I recommend not telling a lot of people when you are doing the insemmination, because with great intentions they keep asking if you are pregnant and the more times you have to tell them you are not the harder it is. Good Luck -- and your mom will come around.
  • yanla_tilyanla_til Senior Member Senior Member
    The409kitten, please be cognizant that your mom is not "over the moon" about the idea because, like all mothers, she has your best interest at heart. At 29 yrs old I am sure she feels that you still have time to do it the conventional way. Be patient with her and invite her into the process you'll be surprised at how supportive she will become.
  • law_aplaw_ap Junior Member Junior Member
    I was worried about it too. I was 31 when I did mine, but I decided that the best way to go about it was to have the family "in on it". So, I gave them all my information and let them do the donor search too. They got really involved with the process of helping me pick the right donor. I finally said, "Okay, yall. Time for your top 3". The same donor was on almost everyone's list, so they all felt like they got to be part of the process. Now, they are all behind me 100% :)
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