Birth mom/Bio Mom

EmmaM

We are a same sex couple and our original plan was to try ivf with my eggs and for me to carry. Unfortunately, my AMH is very low so we were told the chances of success would be minimal. Finding this out has been really sad for us. However, we are now thinking about using my partner's eggs and me carrying. I have always been the one to whom it was more important to have a biological child, my partner places less importance on that, but it seems as though I no longer have the option. Any other couples out there who have done the biological mom/birth mom ivf? Any suggestions or thoughts would be appreciated. I am especially interested about the birth mom's perspective and the bond they feel with the child and the effect on their relationship with their partner.

sarathegoof

I had my son in August from a sperm donor here. I was 35 at the time of insemination. It was a simple IUI with no drugs etc. I got pregnant on the first try. It was very important to me that I had my own child, and my partner was fine with that. She is 42, so had no intention of giving birth at this age. I am on maternity leave until June, so I spend all day and night with our little guy. The bond that you have with your child is amazing. Truly amazing. My girlfriend loves him very much. As far as both of us are concerned, he is OUR son. My only major problem is that I did all the hard work (pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, dealing with him day and night) and she also gets called Mommy. I guess it's a bit of jealousy. But, it's just my silly problem! I will always be the birth mommy, and that's a connection like no other. When you have your brand new baby in your arms, you will realize how completely unimportant it is where they came from. I know a lesbian couple who had one child of their own and adopted a second, and they are both equally their children. Biology isn't everything! We are a family, regardless of biology.

twopamommies

My partner and I just had twins via IVF where she carried my eggs. We had started the process with IUI's and I never had an issue with the eggs not being mine, and when we switched to IVF we thought that using my eggs would be a good way to have us both involved. We also live in a state where it made more sense to use my eggs because we then didn't have to go through a second parent adoption (and and all of the time/money that is involved with that) we only needed a court order to have both of our names added to the birth certificate.

LJC6780

I would love to be in your position of being able to use your partner's eggs! Unfortunately, because my wife is 45, our clinic will not even try with her eggs.. That situation would be the closest we could come to actually having a baby together. Also, coming from someone who is adopted.. I do not feel any less bonded with my family even though we do not share biology..

I wish you luck in your journey.. I'm actually in the beginning of my 2nd IVF cycle.. My first ended with a 4w miscarriage.