What would you do??

moewhit25

After a long hard fertility road I'm finally pregnant and due in a week. As a single mom by choice....maybe Mr. Right will come some day....Anyway, I know that in the back of my mind I have to decide what I will do with my one frozen embryo but now I was just told that I have a leftover vial of donor sperm on ice as well.

I certainly don't want to destroy the lone embryo but I'm also thinking if it took THREE to get one to stick, it will certainly be a challenge for one. Now I'm thinking do I try for IUI with the donor sperm although I have zero faith in that process? Who knows if now that my body knows what to do, I may get lucky.

Just needing a sounding board and what thoughts are out there....

Thanks!
Moe

Anne72

I have 6 frozen embryos left and no sperm. Like you it took me 2 years and 13 tries to get pregnant. I have the embryos on ice and am not making any decision now. I figure that let me have this (prayerfully healthy) baby first and see how I do at being a single mom. About a year after giving birth, I will then make the decision about what I do with the embryos.

So my suggestion is get through birth and get used to being a mom before making any decisions. Best of luck for an easy delivery and healthy mom and baby! Thinking of you and can't wait to her name and gender!

moewhit25

Ahh, thanks Anne! I appreciate your prospective and you're right! I need to settle into being a single mom....oh wait I've got to push this turkey out first then wrap my head around the next step. That's awesome that you have so many frosties leftover :-)

You're in my continued thoughts and prayers too. And happy early birthday!!!! That would be awesome if I went into labor tomorrow and gave birth on Friday!!! I will certainly post an update and soon as things get cookin'

All the best!
Moe

mary313

Hey Moe - I agree with Anne on the get used to your dramatically different new life and then see... I have frozen sperm, but no eggs on ice. I gave birth at 43 (and was very lucky that I got pregnant immediately)... but the transition into the new life was hard - I loved my boy so much, but it was a hard adjustment nevertheless... Now that he's almost 3, I wish I had just immediately gotten pregnant again... since i'm 46 and it's just too late... but at the time when I was 43 almost 44? I thought it would be too much for me as a singleton. And even when I think well I could adopt... I think 'gosh... Aidan was a good sleeper... what if i got one who didn't sleep?' (I have a friend my age who has 2 under 4 - the youngest is a few weeks older than Aidan... her husband was deployed to Afghanistan for 9 months while the daughter was 1 year - 21 months old... and the daughter just didn't sleep... she'd do 3 hour spurts. The 2 year old son didn't understand where dad was and was up too... and it was REALLY hard on my friend... I work... and have no other option, so to have a non sleeper? scared me seeing how hard the no sleep and no dad at home was on my friend... and i'd lose my job... so that was probably what really got to me the most)... But if you have frozen embryo - then you can just see how you feel after you've got the rhythm of momhood down! (When (if) you find yourself overwhelmed at the thought of the effort it takes to pack up everything you need for the baby, load the baby and get out the door for a trip to Target or something... know that it's totally normal and you will get into the flow of grabbing it all and going!) I'm so excited for you and Anne both... so glad you were persistent and fought hard for your dream! Cannot wait to see pics and hear all about it!!

latebloomer

Hi Moe,

I agree with the others I'd definitely wait to see how life is as a single mom with a new baby! You went through a lot to get where you are so enjoy your transition to your new life and don't worry about this right now. Take comfort in knowing that if you do want to pursue a sibling down the road that you don't have to totally start from scratch but that you do have some options!

Mary, thanks a lot for your perspective!

moewhit25

Thanks for your insight ladies! I really appreciate hearing your perspectives. For now I'm going to focus on this life changing event that's about to go down!! It looks like my little one is quite comfy with his/her hotel accomodations. Well the bill will be slipped under the door tonight! I'll be admitted to the hospital at 8 p.m. to begin a foley induction. That involves placing a foley catheter (balloon) in the cervix to help it gradually dilate. Once it reaches 3 cm then it falls out and they begin pitocin gradually. The goal is a vaginal birth so the OB is starting things tonight instead of ramping things up first thing tomorrow.

Oh so now I'm doing my best to relax but feel like I've got squirrl syndrome and I'm going in all directions. I have one last acupuncture appointment at 5 pm so hopefully that will take the edge off and move things along.

Thanks for all of the well wishes and support! You ladies are the BEST!

Moe

Anne72

Good luck Moe. May you have an easy and safe delivery!

mary313

Moe - hoping your little one is here as I type this... if you are still laboring, well, know prayers for you and your child are being sent often!!

mary313

Moe - by the way - I wrote the above know absolutely that the VERY best present my parents ever gave me was my sister. I cannot imagine life without her... and as my son is almost 3, I more and more regret that I didn't try immediately again... or didn't freeze eggs or such... I know that at the time it was the right course, but doesn't mean I do not wish my son had a full sibling. Mostly, I think... I regret that I did not start down this path earlier. If i'd been 41 when he was born, or 40... I probably would be giving it a shot. But it is what it is. I am grateful I was able to get pregnant and have a child at my age. I am also so very very grateful that thanks to these forums, we know my son has 2 (twins) donor sisters and 2 donor brothers (by two different women). We have met his sisters who are 10 months older than him and met 1 brother who is a bit more than a year younger. The other brother is just 4 months old. I truly hope we remain in touch and that the children will choose to know each other... and can maybe find a part of themselves in each other that they otherwise would always miss.... plus, they can talk about their feelings about donor conception, not knowing the donor and what they think he might be like... etc. And... i hope they will truly feel like family to each other. That's my hope anyway... and being in touch with our other donor families has really eased my heart, guilt, regret, etc. about not starting this 3-5 years earlier when I could have had another full sibling.

I hope you and Kennedy are enjoying getting to know each other! Don't you love the newborn smell???