Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.
To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!
Questions about your forum access? Email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Follow these steps to join a private donor group:
1) Press "Join" at the right of the group
2) Once prompted to confirm your request please list this information so we can verify your information:
Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Clinic Name
Donor number
Child Date of Birth
*If you are looking to start a private group for a PRS donor please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com with the above information and that you are looking for a PRS group*
If you have any questions about the verification process please email forum@fairfaxcryobank.com
Whether to use a donor or a friend?
highlyfavored
Junior Member Junior Member
I'm planning on being a single mother and I have the option of using a donor or a friend. Choosing a donor is starting to look very complicated but choosing this friend seems easy for now but who knows what the future will bring. I only have my right tube and think that it would be better to go with IUI but my doctor doesn't want to inseminate with "Live Sperm" because there is the possibility of putting and STD or anything else directly into my uterus. I have already gone thru the 5 days of Clomid and will be having an U/S on Thursday to chk my follicles. I am thinking of trying my friend (by natural means) the 1st go round and if that doesn't work then I will attempt IUI with a donor the next time. Any feedback would be appreciated.
Comments
If you feel strongly that there is no possibility of things getting "messy" at any point in time then by all means go with the friend with no agreement. Wishing you the best. Baby dust!!
I replied to your post but got lost.
I'm not sure what your timeline is but also keep in mind about FDA regulations require a 6month quarantine of sperm that is donated by "non-partners"
Just give some thought to what happens when your friend has his own children. how would your child feel? what happens when he doesn't agree with your parenting skills? what would you do? and how will certain situations affect your friendship.
As for me, I had similar questions as you a few months ago. I have some fertility issues and for me time is sort of running out. My best friend of 25years and her husband offered to donate for me and essentially have a family. They already had one child and so the thought of my baby having a sibling was comforting. However, the more conversation we had, i saw how this could potentially get bad. I realized that, even if we signed papers, this man will be in my life forever and what will stop him form saying something to my child someday when I'm not ready?
My biggest concern with being a SMBC was not being able to answer the questions of his/her biological father. and that's why i chose to use a donor with an id option, this way, after 18 they can choose to pursue that option. I realized that i don't want anyone else having a say so about my child. I am the sole parent and I'd rather keep it that way.
I had my first IUI with meds two days ago with a my chosen donor and I'm hoping to get some good news in two weeks. Let me know if you have any questions at all.
In the end, just trust your gut and make the best decision for your life. you have to be comfortable with it because you'll live/deal with it for the rest of your life.
Sending some baby dust your way.
good luck.
-P
In that case using your friend is great, i thought you meant just a friend and I may have misread it with the concerns you mentioned your doctor had in your first post. I get your point.....I was speaking from my perspective about the family thing, in my book, once I have a kid with someone, they are family.
Your RE knows best, I'd go with his advice, if he thinks the sperm count is good and you can time it correctly with doing it the natural way, then go for it. If you want my advise, do the IUI, it increases your chances of getting pregnant because the sperm goes directly into the uterus. they will wash the sperm just so they can concentrate it to a smaller volume for insemination. They are usually looking for a count of 10million or higher and this increases your chances. These decisions are not always easy to make, but we have to start somewhere, if that doesn't work, then try something else.
Happy Journey!!!:):):)
Pearl thank you for your feedback...I'm gonna wait and see what happens next month. Had an u/s yesterday had 2big follicles 27.1 and 32.3 and my doc said they were too big and she did not want to use them. So we'll see next month and by then hopefully I will have made my decision regarding friend or donor.
I would say go for it and have a child with your friend. If I had someone who wanted to have another child I would rather do it that way then on my own. You are right being a single mom is hard but not impossible.
Best of luck to you.