Family

cphill05

Just wondering how did everyone's family react to the news when you told them you and your partner were trying to have a child? How did you tell them, etc.

Mrs and Mrs S

We actually haven't told our families that we are trying to conceive because we want to stay away from the added pressure of "are you guys pregnant yet?". We've been together for 12 years and one of the first questions that is asked of us is, "so when are you guys going to have kids?". We are so happy that we get a lot of support, but I am just waaayyy too superstitious to let everyone in on the process from Day 1. I plan on telling everyone when we are in our 2nd trimester.

B4baby

We didn't tell them until after we were 14 weeks along. They had no idea we would ever have children and were super excited when we told them. I was nervous that some family members would be negative about our decision and decided not to involve the family at all since it was our decision. Too many opinions can lead to stress and that was something we didn't need when starting our family. If we have a second child we wouldn't tell them until we were in our second trimester again. I have a family member who has been doing IVF for years and every time they try again it is shared with everyone in the family. Everyone is always so disappointed when it doesn't work out. I feel just awful for her. That was another reason we didn't want to tell anyone. It was hard enough for us to deal with the disappointment when it didn't happen each time- I wouldn't want my family to feel the same way. It is an individual decision though. Best of luck to you!

NatashaLovesKatie

We've been sharing the whole process with my wife's parents. We're so fortunate and they've been super supportive and we've shared every aspect of TTC with them > From asking their input on donors, to helping us financially with a loan for specimens, to seeing them after our first IUI this past Sunday! We're a really close family and I couldn't even imagine holding some aspect from them.

cphill05

B4baby

Congratulations We sent everyone a valentines day card when we were in the second trimester. I photoshopped little hearts that said love, hugs, and baby on them and then made a little poem announcing that our baby would be due in August. The phone calls poured in congratulating us. Our family asked- are you adopting? Is one of you pregnant? Who is carrying the baby? They have all been super supportive, but I don't know if my mom would have been as supportive if she had known from the getgo. Now she couldn't be happier than to be a grandparent. Best of luck to you. That baby is gonna rock your world!

cphill05

Congrats B4baby! Good to hear that things worked out so well! I'm sure we are making it out to be worse than it really will be. But you can't help but worry. Thank you for the POSITIVE feedback!

kris&shan

We told our families that we were going to try to get pregnant before we started the process, and it wasn't a positive experience at all. When my partner did get pregnant (with Donor 2994), and we told everyone, there were lots of wonderful responses, except from our parents. About half way through the pregnancy, our parents started coming around, and as soon as he was born, everyone was thrilled and in love with our little baby. He has 5 wonderful, loving grandparents with whom he spends a lot of time. Thank goodness for 9 months of pregnancy because our families needed that time to get okay to the idea of us having a baby. I'm getting inseminated in a few weeks and we have told everyone except for our parents because, even though they are so happy to have Vedder now, we are still nervous about their reaction to us "bringing another baby into a gay household." We think they will be happy that we want Vedder to have a sibling, but I don't want to risk introducing any type of negativity into the situation pre insemination. I just hope they don't feel left out in the case that they would be excited and supportive this time. It's just one of those things.

z_anat

Uclagirl24