Single Mothering (Doctor appts and taking time off after birth)

ctinay

Hi there. I'm going to be undergoing IVF real soon and I'll find out if I'm pregnant Christmas Day! Just wondered how other single mothers have handled taking time off for doctor appts and after giving birth? I am going to be starting a new job so I don't qualify for FMLA, worried I'll get let go, and not sure when to tell them I'm pregnant (as soon as I find out or at 3 months). Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you! Christina

Anne72

ctinay wrote: »

Hi there. I'm going to be undergoing IVF real soon and I'll find out if I'm pregnant Christmas Day! Just wondered how other single mothers have handled taking time off for doctor appts and after giving birth? I am going to be starting a new job so I don't qualify for FMLA, worried I'll get let go, and not sure when to tell them I'm pregnant (as soon as I find out or at 3 months). Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you! Christina

I hope it works out for you.
I would wait until 3 months to tell any employer - sadly, many pregnancies do end up in miscarriage and the risk fades after the first trimester. You don't want to tell them and then miscarry

I was lucky to be able to manage my schedule to take all the appt time that I needed, but I also worked longer hours to make sure that I didn't fall behind in work. Try to make as many appts on your days off as possible (not really easy when you are trying but once you are pregnant a day or two either side won't make much difference.

They cannot let you go for getting pregnant! I don't know what you do but if you don't qualify for FMLA, have some serious talks with your boss and HR once you are past the 3-4 month mark to discuss options.

ctinay

Hi Anne. Thank you for the response. I do contract/consulting work at I'm always "at-will." I read to qualify for FMLA you have to work for an eligible employer, the employer has to have at least 50 employees, and you have to have been working for the employer for 12 months. And, well, starting a new job means I don't qualify. I also read that an employer can let you go if you decide to take a leave (can't remember exact wording). Ugh. I'm hopeful the IVF will work and then I'll just figure out the rest later (I hope).

kelsie

ctinay wrote: »

Hi Anne. Thank you for the response. I do contract/consulting work at I'm always "at-will." I read to qualify for FMLA you have to work for an eligible employer, the employer has to have at least 50 employees, and you have to have been working for the employer for 12 months. And, well, starting a new job means I don't qualify. I also read that an employer can let you go if you decide to take a leave (can't remember exact wording). Ugh. I'm hopeful the IVF will work and then I'll just figure out the rest later (I hope).

I am wondering how this all worked out for you? I am going to be ttc via IUI in the next month or so and losing my job is one of my greatest fears. I work for a small, male only, company and they are not exactly family friendly.

ctinay

Hi Kelsie. I was pleasantly surprised as everyone has been super supportive. I told my currently employer right after they made the offer. I actually gave them the opportunity to take the offer back which I don't think many would recommend. I was soooo worried about their response but it was nothing but support (from the COO who is who I told) and now that I'm on board, support from everyone else at the company. I don't know how many of them know I'm single though. If you want a baby, don't let fear of losing your job stop you. Of course, that's easier said than done since I was sick about it. But knowing what I know now, I worried unnecessarily. Now it'd be a different story if they weren't so supportive but you have to take that chance. Do any of these males have kids? If you are a good worker, they should know that yes, you'll be out for leave, but you will continue to do your job well up to that point and when you return. Not sure if I'm helping. I was super depressed my first tri worrying about all of this and how friends/family would react. Once I started telling people, my depression lifted and I've had nothing but great support. Keep me posted.

kelsie

Thanks for the update!I'm glad things worked out with your employer

I admit, I usually worry for nothing Yes, some of the males I work with have kids. They are mostly high school age, though there are a few with young ones. I know that I would be able to find another job if they did let me go, I just worry about loss of income until then.

My family that I've told is super excited and asked why I waited so long! I think I'm also having a hard time giving up the 2 parent-happy family dream. I've spent the last few months searching for the right bank and the right donor. I have it narrowed down to 2 donors, hopefully I will be trying in the next month or two...