Advice on picking the right donor....between donors 4538, 2995, and 4215.

Serendipity10
Serendipity10 Junior Member Junior Member
in Selecting a Donor
Decisions, Decisions!

Please share how you and your partner/spouse picked the right donor for you.

I have been doing most of the searching myself and then going to my husband for his impute.
At first he said he wanted someone that looked like him. However now he is saying he rather use someone that shares a lot of personality traits and interests. That is easier to do then finding someone that looks like him. Plus it is expensive to purchase lifetime photos for multiple donors.
My husband has a unique heritage that is hard to find in the donor world. Mexican-Japanese from Mother and Spainish-Mexican-French from Father. His sister doesn't look Spanish at all but full Japanese. Meanwhile my husband has Mexican traits but have a lot of the european Spanish features. Tall, and the famous Spanish nose. Which I admire.

I could go on and on but donor 2995 share some personality traits and looks similar to my husband as a child.
However donor 4215 is a closer match personality wise....and donor 4538 is a pretty dead on match when it comes to personality and interests. He has some spanish heritage in him.

In the end what did many of you go with looks or personality? Or were you able to find someone that had a combo of both? My husband feels like we should not tell our children that we used donor sperm to help bring them into the world. He feels like it may create insecurities later as teens and adults.

Thank you in advance.
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Comments

  • ivethaldana@gmail.com
    ivethaldana@gmail.com Junior Member Junior Member
    My partner and I are going with 4538 we just had a good feeling when reading his info and listening to his extended interview plus his personality seems almost exactly like mine .
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  • yanla_til
    yanla_til Senior Member Senior Member
    Serendipity,
    Your decision and that of your husband about keeping this information secret is entirely your own. However, studies have shown that kids of sperm donors are more upset at the dishonesty of their parents, when they do eventually find out, than on being the product of a sperm donor. Honesty is always the best policy!!

    Wishing you all the best.
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  • CRippli1
    CRippli1 Member Member
    We didn't go with looks or personality. Initially we were trying to find someone who looked similar to my husband, but ultimately decided we wanted to choose based off of health.

    Looks aren't important to us because we plan to raise our children with full knowledge of where they come from, so they won't be confused why they don't look like my husband anyway.

    Personality isn't important because we will be a large part of molding our children's personality (although I know their genes will have a little to do with it).

    Living a long healthy life on the other hand is very important to us, so we want to do the best we can to ensure our children will have this. I haven't used or looked at these donors, but perhaps looking at their health would be a good way to narrow them down to one?
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