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Hello and welcome to the Fairfax Cryobank Family Forum!
The forum has a new look and the Fairfax Team is so excited to create the best experience for our users.

To Note:
Private Donor Groups and Private Sibling Connection Groups are now located under the category "Groups". Search the donor number in the search box and you should find exactly what you're looking for!

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Name (under which the vial was purchased)
Email
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Donor number
Child Date of Birth

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Currently in tww

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Comments

  • lposhlposh Senior Member Senior Member
    Thank you all for your input and suggestions. I value your opinions above most because you are also living this. I think I'm going to be trying to overcompensate for the guilt I feel bringing a child into this world without a father. That's probably really my issue and something I have to work through somehow.
    Again thank you for being here when my emotions go haywire.
    Houston Denise and Jan thank you for sharing with me your thoughts it does mean a lot. I've confronted many challenges I hadn't imagined I'd feel.
    I'm truly grateful to you all.
    Houston- I'm excited your half way through your TWW. And sorry to hear about your mother.
    Kisses
  • ck2014ck2014 Member Member
    Lisa, I think we all struggle with similar concerns & sometimes guilt. I do because my child will have 2 moms, but no dad. I think it's human nature for us all to want to do the absolute best for our children. Especially people like us who have to work hard at becoming parents. Even though I get concerned that my child will be upset he/she doesn't have a dad, I know my wife and I are going to give them the best life. I had a mom and a dad and my childhood was not good, it's all about the quality of life, not the quantity of people in that life.

    Keep this is mind- the Universe works in amazing ways. You will have the child that's meant for you & when you do you'll be so happy he/she is yours. I wouldn't assume you'll always be single. You very well may meet someone & everything will fall into place with your family. It always does. Life has a funny way of changing...
  • POT03005POT03005 Senior Member Senior Member
    You'll get questions I am sure. Our daugther is 4 and she knows she has two moms along with several of her friends. She does ask though who her daddy is and why she doesn't have a daddy. Nothing can prepare you for hearing those words the first time. They stung! We just tell her that all families are different. Some have a mom and a dad, some have just a mom or just a dad, or just grandparents. Some have two dads and some have two moms. Doesn't mean that you are loved any less. We are fortuate to know and already have a relationship with two families that have half sibblings to Charlie. One couple lives 30 min from us and we have met on many occasions and consider them friends. She'll get the info when she's older but for now they are just her friends... it's interesting and I am sure is a bit different for everyone but this is what works for us most of the time. Our daugther typically talkes to her "mudder" about it and not me ... I assume because she's a stay at home mom and I am the working mom or could be the fact that I am not the super femme in our relationship. I should look like a hot mess in about 8 months who a mohawk and a pregnant belly! haha!
  • MoonlitwishMoonlitwish Member Member
    Thanks everyone for your supportive words. Sadly, today is cycle day one, so no tardy bfp for me either. Donor is ordered, prescriptions being delivered Friday and 1st monitoring appointment is that morning as well. Treated myself to an M&M Blizzard today even though donor 4625 made me broke. He better make it up to me in 2 weeks!

    Lisa I too have guilt about my baby not having a daddy. But having one isn't always so great as some of the other ladies said. More so I feel bad that my kid has to grow up in suburban South Carolina with 2 moms and grandparents that don't want to be part of their lives because moms aren't "really" married and shouldn't be together anyway. Nothing about this is easy, but just think of it all as practice for being a mom. More roller coasters are ahead and soon you'll have a precious little one to share them with!
  • janbabyjanbaby Senior Member Senior Member
    Houston, keep the countdown coming, we won't get sick of hearing it. Kerri, make sure to post a hot mess Mohawk pic in 8 months, we all need a good laugh on here! Lol. Moonlitwish, hopefully we will be eating m&m blizzards soon because they are a craving for us, I add cookie dough to mine (it's to die for). I go tomorrow for a baseline sono to start it all up again too.
  • callencallen Member Member
    Our child will have 2 moms as well. I love reading all your comments. Makes me feel you are all part of my family. I can't imagine not logging in here daily and chatting. I sure hope we can stay in contact for a very long time.
    Lisa- you are a very strong person. You are going to be the BEST mom EVER. Take a deep breath and start again looking for that 1 donor that fits you perfectly.
    The girls are absolutely correct when they say..everything works itself out. And your friends...they try to understand but probably never will quite like all of us. I have comments on a daily basis from my work people...your going to get fat...get another dog instead... To you have no idea what you are getting yourself into. I could go on and on. People are people I guess.
    Lots of hugs to everyone!!!!
  • TX_RAINTX_RAIN Member Member
    Lisa, I don't know if you did your counseling session yet, but it is helpful. It can help you think the whole process through in different ways than before. Some of the topics we talked about was donor vs. dad and guilty feeling with decision to be SMBC (no father). One counseling session is built in as part of the cost for each IUI trial. I had not thought about it before the mandatory session but it is something I am considering while I go through this process.
  • janbabyjanbaby Senior Member Senior Member
    This process is so nerve racking, just got back from the clinic and they said I have 4 follicles and now need to decide if I want to proceed this cycle or wait until the next. She said 4 could result in a slim chance of 4 pregnancies but with my age (38) that is a probability that not all are good. And I could also of course result in 0 pregnancies. It is a scary decision to make, my husband is thinking we should wait because he doesn't want to risk it.
  • HoustonHouston Member Member
    Honestly Jan, I would go for it. I am the same age as you and underwent my first IUI 8 days ago with 3-4 mature follicles. My RE said that 2-4 is ideal given that some will be "duds". Anything over that number and they will cancel the cycle due to risk of high-order multiples. From the statistics I've seen, I'm more concerned w/the IUI not working vs. having multiples (although that would, quite admittedly, freak me the hell out).
  • HoustonHouston Member Member
    In related news, yeah, I'm at 8dp IUI....I'm over the half-way mark....woot woot!!!!
    The ovidrel shot is now totally out of my system because I'm not having any symptoms. Unfortunately, it's kind of freaking me out/making me think I'm gonna have a BFN. I know that I'm barely into the implantation window, but still, hard to stay rational about these things.
    Want to test, not going to test....really really really want to test, not going to test.
  • HoustonHouston Member Member
    Trying to figure out how to post pictures....

    Update: Yay! It worked! You have to be logged in to see the pics, otherwise it looks like it just posts as a link.
    D-rizzy - if you still need help uploading your US pic, here ya go :)

    - While in the text box/writing a post, click on the "insert image" icon (3rd from right on top menu bar)
    - The "Insert Image" box should open; click the "Basic Uploader" link in the bottom right corner.
    - Click the "Browse" button. This should allow you to select an image from your desktop/photo files.

    Hope this helps!
    DL.jpg 43.8K
  • POT03005POT03005 Senior Member Senior Member
    I am 34 almost 35 and I had 7 this past cycle and we are not 100% sure yet, but I believe there is only 1. I say go for it Jan, its a very slim chance that all woud take. Like less than 1/2 of a percent.
  • POT03005POT03005 Senior Member Senior Member
    Houston, I did a test around day 8 or 9 just to see if I got a BFN which I was hoping I would get as it would verify that the trigger shot was out of my system. That way on day 12 when I tested, I knew the BFP was true. Just what I did. :) Good luck....
  • janbabyjanbaby Senior Member Senior Member
    Just talked to my NP and I asked her personally what she would do and she said it's a very hard choice but with my high blood pressure, gestational diabetes and HELLP syndrome I developed with my 1st pregnancy I am at high risk of all that again. She said she wouldn't want to see me pregnant with twins even.
  • HoustonHouston Member Member
    Jan - aren't you on injectables though? The purpose of those meds (Bravelle, Gonal F) are to recruit multiple follicles to mature, so I'm not sure how they are ever going to say you are at zero risk for twins. Are they advising you to skip any cycle when you have more than one mature follicle? I'm confused....
    It seems like we all have somewhat different experiences w/our various REs so who knows.

    Kerri - why did you start testing on day 12? I thought I was supposed to wait until day 14. I'm reluctant to start testing because I'll probably be opening a Pandora's box of daily UPT cray-cray.
  • lposhlposh Senior Member Senior Member
    Breaking News!!!
    I went today for my nurse visit to go over the drug protocol I'll be on in three weeks! The best part is she called the embryologist and asked again if one vial would be okay. He said yes they like to have two as a back up if the first one is not good. If that were the case I would have the eggs frozen till more donor sperm was available. So she said it was my choice. So of course I said hell yes I'm sending my only baby daddy vial right now!!! What a relief. God is good! I'm just soo thrilled!
    Back to you guys. I'm not sure I understand why having four follicles is a bad thing? And reason not to do your iui. It seems like a great number but maybe I don't understand it all though.
  • D-rizzyD-rizzy Senior Member Senior Member
    What a relief Lisa!! That is great news!
    Houston, my doctor said I could start testing at Day 12 as well but not to get discouraged with negatives that early in the game. I waited until Day 14 to start but didn't get a positive until Day 16. So I guess it depends on how many pregnancy tests you want to spend money on!!
  • janbabyjanbaby Senior Member Senior Member
    I have been on injectibles a couple of times and usually only have two mature follicles, they switched me from Bravelle 75mg to Follistim 100mg, not sure why she is so concerned this time around with multiples and my health issues. I have worked with 2 different NP's so maybe this one is more nervous about things. My favorite NP is on vacation this week. :-( but now she has me freaked out so I put this cycle aside. When I had the twin pregnancy I had two mature but only one took because they were identical. I was stressed out all morning long trying to make the decision. She said we can take a look next month and see if my ovaries are clear and if so dial down the meds.
  • lposhlposh Senior Member Senior Member
    Having a split egg twin is a lot more rare than two egg twin. I would go for it. My doc said at 38 half my eggs are probably not good. But I know we are all different. Can you afford another round if you go for this one and it doesn't take?
    I still would go for it
  • HoustonHouston Member Member
    Can anyone besides me actually see the pic (or pic link) that I posted towards the top of the previous page? Starting to wonder if it shows up for everyone or if only I can see it (and therefore sound like a crazy person talking extensively about how to 'do it').

    OK - I'm heading to the damn Dollar Store after work for a giant crate of UPTs. Y'all are officially BAD INFLUENCES!!!! LOL!!!!
  • POT03005POT03005 Senior Member Senior Member
  • POT03005POT03005 Senior Member Senior Member
    Houston-

    This was our fourth IUI and our first medicated round. The first 3 he had said not to test until day 14. This cycle however we had in his words" two really great days of sperm and well.. oh shit and you had seven eggs. I am not going to bet my paycheck on it but test in 12 days and call me if you get a positive. Don't freak out if you get a negative until your get a period." It was something along those lines. Day 11 I got a negative and day 12 I got a positive. I am 5 weeks now (going back in the am for the final beta) and then will have the first u/s next week. Here's hoping that all is well tomorrow as I had some spotting today that totally freaked me out.

    Jana- our RE says that it's a 20% chance per try that you get pregnant and of that 20% change, if you got pregnant that it's a 10% chance or something like similar that someone would be pregnant with multiples. I would go for it... but that's me.
  • janbabyjanbaby Senior Member Senior Member
    I already backed out, and of course am 2nd guessing myself now, after hearing how many follicles you had POT. It made my husband nervous, with all my health concerns. Next time if I have that many I may just say go for it. Damn I hate making decisions like this.
  • txgrl74txgrl74 Senior Member Senior Member
    wow.....I hope all of you guys are on medicated cycles. Because I only have one mature follicle each time. Last month I had 3 follicles on the left and 1 on the right. But one on the left was the only mature one. I'm not on medicated cycles, as my dr wanted to try a couple unmedicated first. However, if it doesn't take this next try I'm going to medicated cycles. I kinda feel like an underachiever!! lol

    On another note.....I go in tomorrow for my ultrasound, I am praying so hard that my mature follicle is on the right this month. I don't want to sit out another month.
  • txgrl74txgrl74 Senior Member Senior Member
    OH and I can see the pic on the last page.
  • POT03005POT03005 Senior Member Senior Member
    Tx my first three were not medicated and I had one follie each time number four was clomid w seven follicles
  • lposhlposh Senior Member Senior Member
    Houston I swore up and down I wasn't going to test early and damn it I was testing like day 9,10,11 etc.. I was sooo hard not to. Fingers crossed for you!
    Kerri- good luck tomorrow with your last beta I can wait for the us. I'm totally betting twinzie's with you! You were a hot pocket of eggs!
    Jan- sometimes going with what feels right is what's makes for the best endings to our stories. I'm sure it sucked to walk away this month but you get to try next month. I'm truly sorry.
    Tx- good luck tomorrow with your US!!!
    Good night everyone,
    Lisa
  • lposhlposh Senior Member Senior Member
    Yes it is 545 am and I totally can't sleep. I saw the nurse yesterday and got my ivf protocol. I'm full of fear with all the injections and painful ovaries. I'm gonna need to pray hard for the courage and strength to do this by myself.
  • callencallen Member Member
    Lisa I just received my big packet for IVF also. We might just be doing this together. :)
  • janbabyjanbaby Senior Member Senior Member
    Thanks for the encouraging words Lisa, I am use to waiting by now so what's another month right? Torture is what it is, we all know that, but hey we all get to go thru it together on this board. I think you will do just fine with the shots, I was the biggest scaredy cat, I had never even been around shots being administered so I had no clue how they worked at all. These last few days were only my third time at doing injectable and I feel like a pro now, I don't even have to do the count 1, 2, .....no wait, lol now I just stick it straight in there. Best of luck to you and Callen on your IVF's!
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